One thing that came up this weekend was networking.

It’s funny. When I first started in the fitness industry, I would look to people who I perceived to be “above me” and think that if I could just get them to notice me, maybe take me under their wing, THEN I’d be good to go. I had this fantasy that if Jamie Eason or Nicole Wilkins or Jen Hendershott or Rachel Cosgrove juuuuuust knew me and liked me, then we’d be best friends and my business would take off. I could be internet famous too!

Gah! Just thinking about things that way now makes me feel yucky on the inside, but this part of my journey was so instructive.

Because I’d email those people, and plenty others. I’d resonate so strongly with what they wrote or what they stood for, that I’d email them, just KNOWING that if they knew how much I had to offer, and how alike we were, then I’d be on their level too!

And you know what happened? Sometimes I’d get a response back, sometimes I wouldn’t. When I did, I’d be let down because even though they replied nicely, it wasn’t enough. I’d feel like, “Okay, but … I want more! I want you to like me, know me, invite me to do something with you!”

And sometimes I got no response at all.

I distinctly remember emailing a prominent fitness cover model right after my very first shoot at 24, and telling her all about how I looked up to her, and how excited I was to get into fitness modeling, and did she have any tips for me?? I sent it off and then waited. Kept checking my email. And I waited some more. And … waited even more, days, weeks. Nothing. I remember feeling so shafted. Like, what, she doesn’t have time for me? I basically just sent you all this stuff about me, and poured my heart out and … nothing?

Well, well, well, hello #RadicalResponsibility!

Of course now I know that a) no one is obligated to respond to me, ever, and b) this gal (or whoever) was getting dozens of emails just like mine every single day! Of course she was!

Being a business owner now myself, I do think each email getting responded to is just good business. But there have been dozens of emails, hundreds probably, that have gone unanswered at JillFit over the last 5 years. Unfortunately that’s just the nature of things—my own inability to ever get to Inbox Zero, time management, laziness, LIFE, whatever.

And I hate that some ladies have never received responses from me. BUT. The nature of networking is that it needs to be a sprinkle on top of your own effort and personal responsibility. It can’t be the main strategy.

Because here’s the thing: these stories and instances have taught me that no one else can really help me. And the best chance I have for “help” only happens after I have somewhat proven myself! Emailing a successful fitness model and telling her how excited I am about maybe, potentially, kind of might be getting into it—while fine--doesn’t offer any kind of service to her. Except the flattery of knowing she’s inspired me.

But true networking is not about fangirling. It’s about coming to the table with a body of work of my own and then showing how I can be of service to someone else. It has to be an equal exchange. The idea that if this gal liked me, I could potentially ride her coattails to success is just crazy.

You might have heard Tim Ferriss’ quote: “Your network is your net worth.” We look around and it seems like the people who are the most connected are the ones who are the most successful.

And it’s easy to feel down about that.

Because sometimes we think, well, who I am? I’m just sitting behind my computer in middle America trying to do something. But no one supports me. I don’t live in Los Angeles or New York City, I don’t know anyone, and it seems like you have to have “an in” to get anywhere.

I hear you. And I have love/hate relationship with this industry a little bit. It can feel cliquish at times. The exclusivity bothers me because so many people are doing amazing things but are missing a couple key insights that can help them get their message out in a bigger way.

Because here’s the truth: the person who has “the right” to do something is the one doing it.

I don’t care if you don’t have as many certifications as someone else. Or you don’t have as many years in the industry. Or you live in the middle of nowhere. Or you don’t “know” anyone. Actions speak louder than words, always, and if you DOING something amazing and being consistent with it, then that’s the best networking strategy there is!

Why?

Because people notice doers. People respect people doing awesome stuff.

Don’t let your self-doubts and who else is doing whatever else take away from the power and passion that YOU have to create.

And don’t get discouraged because you feel like no one’s watching or no one cares what you’re doing. Remember: you do. You care!

And your drive and determination to create something you love is a thousand times more important to your success than any relationship you could form in the industry. Wake up every single day and work on your shit. Over time, you create a body of work that speaks for itself. And before long, people start seeking you out. I promise.

You got this. So long as your #1 focus remains on creating something awesome in your own right. Add massive value for customers and clients. Be prolific. Be consistent.

Remember to jump in the Best of You Coaching Club wait list for 2016, HERE—I have a bunch of stuff cooking between now and when applications open November 30^th, so don’t miss out!

Have a great week!

Xo,

Jill