My friend Jen Sinkler will often text me, “YOU KNOW.” Exactly like that. All caps and everything.

She uses it to infer that when you are friends, you just get one another. It’s actually kind of spooky how in tune we can be with what each other is going through because we have very similar lifestyles, values and thought processes.

I will send her something, or tag her in something online, or send her a quick text with a thought or insight. And she’ll text back: YOU KNOW (or sometimes, YOU KNEW, if it’s past tense ;)). Because we are pretty in tune with each other. We get each other.

This got me to thinking about self-trust (as one does), because it reminds me that not only are we in tune with our best friends, but we are really very in tune with ourselves if we just have the courage to listen and then implement the shit we already know.

As you know, I coach dozens of women every year in my annual Best of You mentorship, a course in helping female fitness professionals take their expertise and experience online. A huge part of the process is learning to trust yourself.

Whether you are building a body, building a business or building a relationship, so much of what we need to harness is trust in ourselves and in the process. But that can be hard because we want someone else to just provide the hard & fast rules and then we want to just follow what someone else says, because, well, then it feels like we’re okay, it’s safe and if it doesn’t work out, well, it can’t be our fault.

But with my Best of You gals, so much of the coaching comes down to empowering each one of them learn to trust themselves. Why? Because … THEY KNOW. They do. But they just need to believe it. Which is where practice and talking it out comes in.

I’ll be on a coaching call, and one of my women will ask me a question about her business and as she’s asking it, she’ll actually start answering it herself. I love when this happens! And at the end, she’ll say, “I think I just answered my own question,” and I’ll say, “Yep! You know what to do. Let’s just have the patience and discipline to implement. You can’t skip steps. What are you going to do this week?”

Or one of my gals will say, “I think I know what your answer is going to be, but …” And they do know.

These segues and qualifications and hashing it out all represent the seeds of self-trust. It’s amazing. It’s empowering. And it’s liberating to feel like you actually do know.

Of course the whole point of mentorship is not to be preached at, but instead to help guide the person to the point where they can think and implement for themselves. My experience is that you need at least one other person to believe in you FIRST, before you can start believing in yourself. And it's always useful to have someone in your corner who has been where you have, who gets it, and then is able to show you the shortcuts.

But a coach can never do it for you, which is why self-trust and #radicalresponsibility is so important.

Another thing we talk about in the Best of You is going from a consumer mindset to a creator mindset.

Think about it. If you are always following other people, reading everyone else’s stuff, collecting information from “experts” and “gurus,” you fall into the trap of thinking that others have the answers and you don’t. It teaches you to be a consumer and follower of information, instead of learning to think for yourself.

Sure, maybe some have more education or credentials or experience than you, but what they don’t have is an education in YOU. You do!

No one knows your body better than you do. No one knows your personality and preferences and desires better than you. TRUST THOSE.

So in a sense, you already are an expert. In you. And that’s a powerful place to be. That’s somewhere no one else can be. And as such, you almost have an obligation to trust yourself, because when you do, you empower yourself. You show others what’s possible. You take the reigns of your own life and start creating, rather than following.

Creators don’t wait for others to give them validation. They trust their own instincts.

Creators don’t take what others say as gospel. They create their own rules based on what they know about themselves.

Creators don’t blindly follow rules. The question the rules and try to create something that works better for them.

Creators are out in front, harnessing their courage and showing others what’s possible. They don’t wait to have enough expertise or experience or credentials. They know that the person who has the "right" to do something is the one doing it.

Creators create because they don’t want to have to rely on anyone else.

And it’s one the most powerful traits you can hone. No one knows you better than you. Trust that. Once you start to trust yourself and you trust that no matter what happens, you got this, it’s heady! It’s empowering. It’s addicting.

So many of you have written to tell me that you have started trusting yourself more. That makes me so freaking happy. THANK YOU. It’s incredible. And don’t forget what an accomplishment that is, it’s so rare!

Never forget … YOU KNOW ;)

I think that’s it for now! Have a great week, and as always, I love hearing what you’re up to, so feel free to drop me a line.

Xo,

Jill