It was about 18 months ago that I went to dinner by myself for the first time.

But as I was well into my 30s, and a grown-ass woman, I figured I could venture out and eat a meal alone.

It was weird, terrifying, and even kind of embarrassing at first. And afterwards, totally gratifying.

I know all of that might sound silly to any woman who’s reading this and has eaten solo, traveled solo, attended events without a plus-one and everything in between. You’re amazing. But I've been in a romantic relationship since I was 18, so very rarely did the opportunity present itself to do something social alone. I'd just been so used to having someone to always do stuff with.

Anyway, I don't know precisely what got me interested in dining out alone (I'd eaten at airports alone and ordered room service before, of course), but Jade was out of town and I was spending a weekend in Asheville working and relaxing.

And so instead of grabbing a quick bite somewhere on the fly, I booked myself a reservation at 8pm on a Saturday night at a popular restaurant, for one, dressed up and went. I admit I felt exposed, especially without my "armor"—iPhone, iPad, book, computer—WHAT WOULD I *DO?*

I guess I'd ... eat, and people-watch and ... enjoy myself?

Lol. I don't know if I enjoyed myself but I was certainly proud of myself, as small and silly as that sounds.

But that, for me, was the beginning of my obsession with the thought, "I wonder if I can do that?"

I first heard that phrase from my friend and gym owner, Dave Dellanave as it pertained to fitness and PR'ing your lifts, but it didn't mean anything to me until I started using it to get out of my lifestyle comfort zone.

Similarly, I'd just finished Jen Sincero's book, 'You Are A Badass' and she says something similar. If you're scared to take action on something, start with, “I wonder if I could just …” and then name the thing you want to do. It’s almost less scary when you approach it like it’s just some thing over here that I’m maybe potentially going to try and just see what happens.

I am a huge proponent of not being apologetic, but I think when it comes to things you are scared of, there’s a power in allowing yourself a mental out: “Maybe it’ll work, maybe it won’t, we’ll see.”

It’s that more casual, more try-it-out attitude that allows you to take action on it even when you’re unsure and scared. Once you get some wins under your belt and build your confidence a bit, it’s easier to take action without all the anxiety.

Anyway, long story short, I started becoming addicted to seeing what I could do.

Travel just seemed to be the outlet and in the Fall of 2014, on a whim, I booked a 2-week trip to Amalfi, Italy by myself. I’ve always wanted to go to Italy and hey, the time and circumstances where right and off I went.

Which brings me to day 1 in Italy.

Not speaking the language, minus a few key words, I made it to Amalfi, which is this tiny village on the Amalfi coast, about 90 minutes from Naples. I checked into my AirBnB (so I didn’t even have the comfort of a hotel to hide behind!), located 300 steps (!!!) up from the main square.

It was a trek.

But after getting settled, I figured I’d get acquainted with the town, get the lay of the land and grab a bite to eat. I headed down the stairs, weaving and sidestepping narrow alleyways and finally made it to the main square. After orienting myself, I sat down at an outdoor restaurant and ordered a Caprese salad. Not a #BAS, but let’s not get greedy ;) I also ordered a glass of “vino bianco” (white wine).

The salad came, and out with it came A LITER of white wine.

Um, I guess that’s not the word for “glass.” Oh my!

So instead of trying to explain that in Italian that it was too much and could I actually get a glass instead, I just started drinking. I ate a baby salad (let’s be honest), was jetlagged and then over the course of a couple hours, finished almost the entire liter of wine. Not my greatest moment. But also, I’M IN ITALY AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING.

So I paid, left and …. you guessed it … had to walk 300 steps back up to the apartment! Gah!

It took me a long time. Tiny Italian women three times my age were passing me on the stairs. I wasn’t sloppy or anything, just tired, hot, and very, very buzzed. It took a while, heart beating out of my chest, sweating, many stops along the way. AND I’M IN THE FITNESS INDUSTRY? IS THIS REAL LIFE?

Oh yeah ... I did this on purpose.

I chose to get completely out of my comfort zone, go to a country where I didn’t speak the language for 2 weeks by myself and figure it all out. Oops.

Well, the days improved quite a bit after that, ha! Though I never felt completely comfortable. I never felt not awkward or not in fear of someone coming up to me and speaking to me in rapid Italian, and having to figure that out.

But even through all the anxious moments and discomfort, I made it. I did it. I figured it out.

I SURVIVED THAT SHIT!

Haha. But seriously, I can say with confidence that my solo trip to Italy was my most transformative experience to date, in terms of developing my personal level of confidence and competency. Not my first figure competition. Not my years in elite sports. Not getting my degrees or starting my business. Nothing compared in terms of up-leveling my sense of accomplishment and self-sufficiency. 

Some snaps from Italy (including THE STAIRS):