a lil' scared to share this: my most un-evolved productivity tool

Published: Tue, 12/01/15

Hey ,

Aaaaaah, last week, I asked you to respond back with your #1 lesson from the last 10 years, and I was absolutely floored with everyone's share. Highlights including lessons on self-love, taking responsibility, body esteem, romantic relationships, stress and food, and so much more. I read every single email, they made my week! Thank you. And I hope you had a great holiday weekend.

Okay, so today I want to share with you a tool that I use that helps me take more action, even in the face of ridicule, judgment, questioning and negativity from others.
 
But first, I want you to know that I have not always been a natural when it comes to #GSD.
 
Being out in front has never come easy for me. I look around at some of my peers, and I know that many of them have been leaders from childhood. Jade for one, has always been internally-driven and confident since he was a kid, out in front, telling anyone who questioned him to screw off. Some of my best friends are the most confident, strongest voices I know.
 
Not me.
 
To illustrate that point, allow me to tell you the story of my 2nd place finish at the Braintree Kid’s 1-Mile Run when I was 5 years old:
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Yes, thank you Mom for this adorable little boy haircut!

Anyway, I didn’t remember this, but my mom told me the story years later. Apparently, when the gun went off I was just sprinting the whole race, out in front the entire time, leading the pack of other kids. This part didn’t really surprise me because I’d grown up racing the little boys in the neighborhood and I was always one of the fastest, most athletic kids. But what was hilarious, and maybe even a touch sad is what happened next:

My mom said, “You were out in front of all the other kids by a long margin and as you came up to the finish line, you didn’t see anyone else around you so you thought there was something wrong. You didn’t know what to do, so you WAITED until another kid caught up to you and then you let him cross first and you took second.”

How funny is that!

I loved this story mostly because it serves as a reminder of my insecurities and old tendency to let others (people, society, cultural norms, whatever) influence my actions. I am not a natural-born leader or someone who was just so confident they didn’t care what others thought.

I cared a lot about what others thought.

And I still do to some degree (just now it’s from a more discerning place)—but the difference is that now I own my power a bit more, by way of years of experience and practice. I see that taking into consideration other people’s critiques, judgments, fears for me, misinformed words and uneducated comments … just doesn’t serve me.

In fact, worrying about how people see me and what they think and say keeps me from taking action.

And if I want to make happen what I say are my dreams, then I can’t afford that.

And so, back to my most un-evolved tool.

Ready?

It's the Loolololol.

This actually makes me feel really vulnerable to share this with you because well, it’s a little cheeky and not exactly “zen,” but if I’m completely honest, it’s something that has helped me own my power and has been a helpful reinforcement that I do know what I am talking about, and I am worthy of being a player and contributor in the online space.

But of course, feel free to unsubscribe if you just think it’s bitchy ;)

Okay, so there are two ways it works.

The first way to use it is when someone comments on something of yours and they are someone who:

a) knows very little about you
b) knows very little about what you stand for or your principles
c) isn’t a customer of yours
d) is obviously misinformed about what you are trying to convey
d) is just blatantly being negative or rude
e) is not interested in having a positive discussion or is just interested in being right
f) is not someone you care to convert into a customer/reader/fan …

… then seriously: LOOOOOOLOLOL.

Here’s how you do it (sorry Jeff, it's just business!):
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C’mon! YOU HAVE TO LAUGH AT THIS STUFF! HAHAHAHAHA.

Sure, sometimes it’s worth having a discussion or giving a comment some more credence, but sometimes you just need to dismiss it as not relevant and not worth your mental energy.

Even if receiving a comment that feels a little offensive or you take it personally, because … do I need to eat a sandwich? … remember that always second-guessing ourselves is a deterrent to action.

Sure, taking feedback can be useful and if someone is interested in a genuine discussion, then I’m game. But when we are constantly feeling crippled by the potential negative judgment by others, we end up not doing what we say we really want to.

And that’s not okay.

The above is a small example, but as JillFit has grown, I have gotten plenty of people ridiculing how I do things and what I write or how I live, and that’s fine. Of course it’s never feels awesome, but I now know that it’s part of the process and each time it happens, I have an opportunity to reinforce TO MYSELF that I’m worthy, that what I do has value and I am just as capable as the next person.

This is a mindset shift!

And in my experience, as much as I hate to admit it, for me, it kind of starts with adopting a bit of a “better than” attitude. Not all the time, and not forever, but at least at the beginning when you are still trying to fake it till you make it a little and get some wins under your belt.

Whether you actually write out, “Lol” or not, the idea is the same—your conviction is everything. And laughing off comments by people who don’t know your stuff nearly as well as you do is incredibly powerful, FOR YOU. It sends a message to your higher self that you are on the path, that you’re in your creative power and that no one can stand in your way.

You might have to fake it at first, but hey, over time, you’ll find yourself less and less threatened by others’ comments, and you might even look forward to the challenge. As weird as it sounds, I like when people question the concept of moderation or of drinking a glass of wine now and then, because I will go toe-to-toe with anyone over why I believe it works. I have seen the nutrition battle from all sides, and I am 100% confident in my approach. And I love talking about it! Why wouldn't I? :)

The second way to use the LOL is not in the “better than” way like above, but to actually enjoy yourself and enjoy this process.

One of my good friends, Rog Law says that laughter is the key to everything. Finding a way to make fun of yourself, laugh at your own antics and screw-ups and realize that if you are not having fun, then why are you doing it?

Hard work is different than misery. And if you are not keeping things light when you are working on the thing you say you love the most, they just stop now.

At its core, following your dreams should be fun. It should be enjoyable. It should be something that feeds you, not takes away from you. Stress is normal, but if you find yourself never feeling happy, then baby, it’s time to take things back to the drawing board.

Remember, online business and blogging is just words on the computer. It’s not scary. It’s not serious. And I think we can all afford to those words a little less personally.

Because really: loooooololol.

There will always be a small part of me who’s still that little kid who took second place, questioning, “Am I doing this right?” but now, after years of practice in owning my power and coming into myself, I am a lot more comfortable being out in front regardless of what people are thinking, saying or doing.

Which brings me to new challenges and new opportunities ...

The Best of You Coaching Club for 2016 is already sold out, but as promised I wanted to give you an opportunity to access the 11-month education to follow on your own if you are still interested in learning how to start that blog, the online business and come fully into your power. It’s an education-only option, and it’s available for enrollment until December 11th.


And of course, as always, let me know what you think! 

Xo,
Jill