Today, I want to share one mindfulness tool I have used over the last 4 years to stop being scared of food every second. It's been enormously helpful.
But first … a quick announcement that my
4-Week Food Obsession Boot Camp course is now
open for 2016 enrollment, through Friday. I only launch once a year, and it’s now! Grab your spot this week, and read all about it
here.
Next …
I love watching those TV shows where a whole family is going to get healthy together, and some TV trainer comes into their house and goes through the pantries, removing things like
donuts and chips and cookies.
First, I want to point out that any conscious living person knows that donuts and chips and cookies don’t help with weight loss, so the idea that we need a trainer to show us that is hilarious. And furthermore, thinking that just getting it out of the house will automatically make them eat better over the long haul is super short-sighted.
I get it, it’s “entertainment” and the taking of all the sugar out of the house
needs to be dramatic and poignant but man, I wish removing it from our sights was enough to fortify our determination to eat better. But it’s just not. At least not in the long-term.
Taking all the junk food out of your house is a great first step. I think it’s a 1.0, and for those just getting started, I think it can help. Out of sight, out of mind.
But the problem becomes that eventually, don’t we want to be able to have any food around and
still have out wits about us? Don’t we want to eventually not be completely thrown by our environment that we can’t possibly control ourselves?
The problem with the out-of-sight-out-of-mind approach is that at some point, that specific food will be in our sight again.
And if we have not worked on some of our deeper issues around food, then the second we have access to it again, we won’t be able to handle
it.
THAT is a fragile operating system, and it’s a Band-Aid.
And it sucks—walking through life feeling totally crippled by your food environment. I call this Situational Eating, and I’ve written about it quite a bit at JillFit.
The opposite of Situational Eating looks like this:
- Being able to have any food in your house any time and not have to eat it all until it’s gone.
- Being able to show
up to any restaurant, any dinner party, anyone’s home and be able to stay mindful of your food choices—not perfect, but not going hold wild either.
- Being able to attend social events without anxiety over the food situation or fear that you’ll overdo it.
- Being able to be around any food any time and handle it just fine.
How much more liberating is this??
I used to subscribe to the out-of-sight-out-of-mind approach, too. And it worked for a
time and to an extent. But what I noticed was that it subtly put foods up on this pedestal of forbiddance. Those foods got bigger and scarier in my mind.
And like a few of my Best of You gals say: it’s just food!
Not something to be scared of, and not something to revere, and not something to hide from, and not something to waste your life trying to dodge.
I know this might sound idealistic—granted food
production is more palatable than ever—but saying “I just can’t have that food around” feels, to me, a little like giving food too much power.
And if you have been reading JillFit for any length of time, you know that I always try to take #RadicalResponsibility for every situation in my life, including my relationship with even the yummiest and most irresistible of foods.
Being #AntiFragile in your eating requires you choose exposure
over control.
I’ve been talking about this concept in the #AntiFragile2016 training over the last 2 weeks, and the key is allowing yourself the full spectrum of experiences as it pertains to discomfort, uncertainty and even pain … in order to learn to trust yourself.
The key to breaking your food obsession is … exposure to the exact foods you are most terrified of. Aaaaaah! WHY!
Because I
want you to be able to keep those cookies you love in the house :)
I want you to buy a pint of your favorite ice cream.
I want you to go to that restaurant where you can’t help but get the dessert.
And then I want you to practice staying mindful. I want you to watch yourself. I want you to taste it intermittently, and move on. And then come back the next day (or even a couple hours later) and taste some more. I want you
to practice taking some and then moving on. And repeat.
This practice is called Intermittent Sampling. You only get better at “handling” your most favorite foods by exposing yourself to them and learning how to navigate the middle by taking bites at a time, rather than existing in only 2 modes: have none or eat all.
You might feel scared even thinking about doing this, and I get that. I have had plenty of people argue with me that
they are addicted and just can’t be around certain foods.
Fine, I’m not attached to what you feel like you need to do for you. Have at it. I would just ask you to consider that your belief system about your food interactions is up for interpretation—you actually have a say in how you handle them and move forward. Is this scary? Absolutely. But not impossible.
So in the spirit of ownership and self-trust, why blindly take someone’s word for
it? Instead, just try. With the expectation that you are not going to nail it on the first try. Or the second. Or even the tenth. But over time, you’ll see that you indeed can handle being around any food without losing all control.
The ultimate in control is being able to trust yourself fully.
And you build that trust through a show of evidence that you are competent. And that competency can only accumulate if you give yourself
opportunities to try and practice.
I love this concept! It’s so juicy! Obviously I love talking about the psychology of eating and have struggled with it myself for most of my adulthood. It’s only been in the last 5 years that I have even started considering doing things differently and breaking my all-or-nothing approach.
Over those years, I have learned to eat the same on Saturdays that I do on Mondays.
#Moderation365.
The 4-Week Food Obsession Boot Camp is only open through this Friday, so grab your spot sooner rather than later. Over 500 women have completed the course over the last 18 months, and witnessing their successes has been incredible. Huge mental shifts, which led to incredible shifts in actions and outcomes. Excited for you to experience it!
Xo,
Jill