I was talking to a friend the other day and she texted me, “my coach increasing my cals and cutting back allll cardio (only spin on the days I teach and only lift 3 days) I'm scared as shit but thinking of you --- it's scary thinking I can be not so
rigid but I think it's exactly what I need.”
I loved this because it reminded me of what excessive exercise and obsessive calorie counting and perennial dieting really boils down to: if I can just CONTROL my environment, I’ll be okay. If I can just control what goes in my mouth, I’ll be okay. If I just attain a specific number of cardio minutes today, I’ll be okay. All will be right in the world.
What does it mean to “be okay” though? We
are we really trying to control?
For it, it was the way my physique looked.
If I could just control my eating (eat a little less and more strict) and control my exercise (just do a little more), then I was in control of what my body looked like. And if I was in control of what my body looked like, then I would be accepted, respected, lovable (!!!) and couldn’t possibly be rejected by my friends, my family, my partner, “the world,” whoever. Who
could resist a woman with the perfect body?
Well, I think that we all know that a perfect body does not worth make. You can be your absolute leanest, completely “controlling” everything and STILL not feel worthy.
And that’s because self-worth and self-love and adequacy is an inside job.
No amount of outside validation from people, things, trophies, titles, money, etc., will ever be enough of we don’t
just decide we are enough, right now. Not 10 lbs lighter. Not “more disciplined.” Not with a husband or wife. Not with a degree or a title. Not with a specific amount of money.
Trust—unlike control—is knowing that you are good enough right this second. Your self-worth is inherent.
And when you train hard, let it be because you love it and it makes you feel healthy, not because you are trying to attain a perfect body.
And
when you choose to eat healthy and sustainably, let it be because you want to feel good and live longer, not because you need to get rid of this fat on your stomach right this second.
When you commit to the journey, to a TRUSTING journey of introspection and self-love, chances are that being more consistent and making healthier choices will be a byproduct of that—but not the thing that we NEED in order to feel valuable in the world.
Results come
in time. Your body might look better and function better, but that cannot be the point. The pursuit is the point.
The key is remembering: you’ll know you have arrived when arrival is no longer the goal.
Wishing you a great weekend, and looking forward to getting started with all the FOBC ladies immediately! … and our journey continues! ;)
