, this past Sunday, I was going back and forth over email with a Facebook coach who I’d met at the conference the previous week—someone who helps entrepreneurs use Facebook for business, rather than just for fun (which of course it is).

Anyway, this guy is super smart, super successful and when I met him, and he started talking just peripherally about what he does, I am literally thinking, “I need inside this man’s BRAIN!”

Maybe you’ve felt that way—you’re talking to someone and they just have knowledge and experience that you just NEED ACCESS TO RIGHT NOW. In other words, you want to be involved, you want to learn, and you don’t care the cost.

That hardly ever happens to me, but this was like that for me.

So long story short, he says, “Well if you are still in LA, I have a 2-day intensive tomorrow and Tuesday.” As in … the very next day!

AND I AM LEAVING FOR AUSTRALIA WEDNESDAY. FOR A MONTH! Oops.

Yes, I am leaving for Australia today, for a month, but I don’t even think about it: “Yes, I’m in for the intensive, I’ll be there!”

I have a ton of meetings and coaching calls to reschedule. I do that.

I have a ton of errands to run for the trip. I do them at 7pm when we get out of the conference.

I have to get my workouts in still. I wake up at 4am to do that.

The cost of the event is double my monthly rent. Gulp. I pull the trigger.

And yes, it was all worth it. The event was incredible and not only do I not regret it, but I am grateful for the opportunity for it!

But what I am most grateful for is the self-trust I’ve developed over the years to know that while it might be messy and scary and uncertain and difficult, I can figure it all out.

I feel a deep conviction that I can handle whatever comes up. It’s going to be a lot, but I am going to do it anyway, I’ll be fine. Yes, it’s a lot of money. I’ll figure out how to make it back. Yes, it’s time I don’t really have. But I’ll make it work. It’s something I am not an expert in. Fine, I’ll risk looking like an idiot in front of these people who are running million-dollar businesses.

It wasn’t always like that, though. In fact, for most of my adult life I felt scared that I was going to mess up every minute, so I hardly said yes to anything.

I was a follower. I was someone who took what other people said at face value without questioning things or listening to my own opinion. I didn’t even have an opinion, ha!

I had a lot of anxiety over not doing the right thing every second. I was a perfectionist, scared to take action because what if I messed up or looked like an idiot or people judged me? I always wanted to know, “Well, what if this [bad thing] happens? How will I ever handle it?”

But over the years, and through a self-trust practice (that mostly started with learning to eat moderately BTW!), I started risking … just a little.

I started pushing the boundaries. I started questioning “experts” and coaches and people who I perceived to know more than me. I started seeing that no one was a better expert in my own body than me. And I started owning that.

Over the years, I started thinking independently. And I started doubling-down on my own experiences and seeing them as valuable and important.

And the more I started to value my own experiences, the more experiences I wanted to have! Because over time, I came to see that I could handle juuuuust a little more discomfort. I could handle juuuust a little more uncertainty. I could handle juuuuust a little more pain or struggle.

I was up against things I’d never dreamed I would be, like talking on stage in front of hundreds, or traveling by myself for weeks in non-English speaking countries, or investing thousands on internet education, or moving across the country, and so much more—and I was handling it. Not perfectly, but I was doing it.

And in the old days, I’d try to control them, though, by thinking out every possible scenario in my head and fixating on what could go wrong and talking myself out of doing anything big or bold because it was all too scary. If I could just control my little circle in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, then I’d be okay. I’d feel in control by never sticking my neck out.

But I would also miss out on tremendous opportunities. Not just adventures and experiences. I could miss out on the exact scenarios that would help me build my self-trust and feel in my power!

It’s easy to feel in your power when you aren’t pushing your boundaries and when everything is predictable and secure. That’s called the illusion of control. Like my sister-in-law Jillian says, “It’s easy to be ‘all good’ when everything’s all good.”

But what about when you step out of your comfort zone? What about when life pushes you to deal with something out of your control?

This can be incredibly scary.

Ask, can I rely … on me? Can I bet … on me?

Of course you can.

Whether or not you feel it right now, you can handle it. You’ve made it this far!

Byron Katie says, “You’re never given more than you can handle.”

Whoa! Is this true?

Well, I only know one way to find out. And that’s by creating a show of evidence that yes, you can handle things that are scary and uncertain and painful and uncomfortable is by having the experience. Giving yourself the opportunity to see just how powerful you are.

You don’t fortify your self-trust by remaining in your safe zone and in inaction.

You only see just how strong (and #AntiFragile!) you are, by saying yes to things that are scary as shit, and then trusting yourself enough to go through with it!

Consider this the permission you’ve been waiting for.

Know that I’ve got your back. Know that millions of women have stepped out of their comfort zone before you, and they have survived it. And are stronger for it!

I’m loving you – have a great week!

Xo,

Jill

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Ladies, I am going to be keeping a virtual journal called #DownUnderUncovered from Feb 5^th through March 5^th (30 days) while I am away in Australia and New Zealand. Daily emails of what I am eating, how I am moving and what shenanigans I am getting into (often with my partners-in-crime Jen Sinkler and Neghar Fonooni) while on the trip. If you’d like to get these SHORT snip-its daily, please ADD YOURSELF HERE. Blow-by-blow daily accounts of what we’re up to that I am going to keep to 500 words or less, ha! I know you’ll appreciate the brevity! It’s free---> REGISTER HERE.