It was early April 2015 and I was talking to my friend Neghar on the phone about what we should pack for Paris—how cold will it be this time of year? Will it rain? Should we bring open-toed shoes?

We were meeting in the city in a few days for a couple weeks of shenanigans, before I was I setting out on a 3-week hike + a month in Europe with my in-laws.

“What are you bringing for exercise stuff?” Neghar asked.

“I’m not bringing anything. I just think I’m gonna say screw it and just walk while I’m there.”

Neg ended up bringing some workout clothes herself and I watched with a glass of wine in hand as she hilariously tried to fit in a workout every day in Paris: “Do you think there’s like a park around here I could do stuff in? I don’t see anyone running outside, though. This CrossFit website is in French, I don’t know what it says!”

Lol. Bless her!

I, on the other hand, though I hate to admit it, was completely off exercise. Just not interested. Exhausted by the sheer thought of trying to arrange to fit it in.

And not only that, but I was kind of mentally using this trip as an excuse to finally do the thing I had been wanting to do for the past 5 years: just give myself permission to not have to effing train like a mad woman all the time.

I’ve told my story of excessive cardio, 2-3 hours per day, many times—not only the physical toll it took (yo-yo dieting the same 20 lbs year after year) but the mental one. Exercise was my way to feel in control. Of my body. Of my actions. Of my life. Of how accepted I was. Of how valuable I was.

If I could just exercise enough, I could control how I looked, and if I was able to maintain a certain look, then I’d be accepted, loved, respected, worthy.

I didn’t know that the key to feeling worthy is just deciding that I am worthy right this second! No affirmation needed!

So it took a long time.

And that journey landed me in Paris, hating exercising, sick and tired of doing workouts that I didn’t enjoy, forcing myself to meet my exercise partner on days I just didn’t want to, and basically feeling like a slave to my routine.

Even though I had cut my exercise time down from hours a day to literally 30 minutes, I still just dreaded it. It felt like a job.

Ugh, I needed a breather.

And my Europe trip was exactly that.

I walked a lot (the "hike" was actually just walking), and I did exercise a handful of times, doing a few 10-min bodyweight workouts and once running the stairs on Capri. But by the end of the 9 weeks, my body had changed, but so had my mental state.

I got home and I was the softest I’d been in my adult life. I remember looking in the mirror and seeing cellulite on the front of my thighs for the first time.

It was … disorienting. Not stressful or upsetting, just … fine, new. I didn’t beat myself up. I didn’t stress about it, I didn’t start dieting or anything (I couldn’t if I tried, ha!), I just observed.

And I owned my choice to take time off. I needed this breather, time away from my old routine, to feel excited about exercise again—to fall in love with it again.

And I did.

A couple months later, I hosted the #20x20Challenge, which was a free 30-day exercise challenge on Instagram and 3000 women joined me in completing twenty 20-minute workouts during the month of August. It was the excitement and motivation I needed to start loving my routine again.

I also started CrossFit out here in LA. Learning new skills and having someone coach me on the Olympic and power lifts has been a huge source of motivation.

And late last Fall, I started hitting the treadmill again. Doing some of the workouts that were part of the reason JillFit got so popular so quick. Back in 2010 and 2011, we shared some of the hardest, baddest ass workouts on our blog.. It was what we were known for early on.

These workouts were, hands down, the biggest bang for my time in the gym. Intervals and inclines, running and walking, lifting and jumping. So awesome.

I was able to leave in a puddle of sweat after only 30 minutes at the gym. And my body was responding. And my mind was happy.

And thus the idea for #treadLIFT was born.

And 5 months later, the #treadLIFT online training program is launching IN JUST 2 DAYS! 

I could not be more excited to share it with you on Tuesday--please watch your inbox for a private invite from me! All the details to come ;)

Wishing you and your family a fabulous Sunday!

Ox,

Jill

P.S. If you are not registered for my FREE exercise webinar, "The Truth About Exercise and Weight Loss: 5 Tools to Transform Your Body, Stay Consistent (and Actually Enjoy It!)" this Tuesday, May 3rd (two time slots, same content), please do! You can register right here (it's free!)