At the Radiance Retreat last month, I was surprised to get a specific question multiple times that I’ve never actually got, and that was, “Why did you get started doing moderation? What was the impetus?”

I surprised myself when I responded 100% honestly with, “I was so sick and tired of never feeling good enough, and I also realized that if I wanted to be able to focus on building my business, I had to figure out a way to reduce the amount of mental energy and time I spent on eating and exercising.”

My motivation to quit the deprive-then-binge couldn’t be to lose weight.

I’d done the “I’ll try anything!” approach for years. It was because I’d reached the point of misery with food obsession. ONLY THEN, was I actually able to work toward a sustainable, self-compassionate way of eating healthy forever.

That, plus other interests.

In the Total Training Experience, I do an entire module on passion and purpose, not because it helps you lose weight, but because when you are working on something—anything—that you are charged up by, things like boredom eating and stress eating and obsessively counting calories and macros has no place. Why? Because you are doing something else. Your focus is on something bigger.

Which brings me to the launch of JillFit.com.

In late 2010, I started my blog and because I was still working over 60 hours a week at the gym including my full-time university job, I just started sharing recipes and workouts on there. I didn’t have a lot of mental energy to come up with incredible ideas all day so I just wrote what I knew.

I literally wrote a blog on almond milk. It wasn’t mind-blowing, but it was helpful to those who were interested in switching to almond products from dairy. Lol. It was FINE.

And I proceeded to blog every day for 2 years. I didn’t stress about Likes and Shares. I just produced, wrote about whatever, did my best. I didn’t get stuck on Is this the perfect post? Am I qualified? What if someone calls me out? Is it okay that’s I’m doing this?

Sure, I had moments where I second-guessed myself, but I took action in spite of feeling scared.

And the blogging was not really about sales and building a platform as much as it was about just getting some wins under my belt. When I look back on the amount of sheer ACTION I took, even when scared, even in the wrong direction (ha!), all of that accounts for something inside me.

Taking action gives us evidence that we are capable of taking even more action.

Taking action helps us get a shitload of experience, so that we can feel safer knowing that we can handle whatever happens. We’ve just straight-up SEEN more outcomes.

Taking action gets us some wins, so that we can build our confidence.

And when you build your confidence, you’re able to take more risks, get out of your comfort zone even more, and over time become more capable.

You don’t become more confident by default. And as much as I wish you could just will yourself to be confident by repeating an affirmation or writing yourself a love letter every day, that’s not how it works.

You do something, see that you didn’t die, that you survived and hey, you handled it pretty well. And that experience creates momentum and a mental download to your own brain that you have do some competency in that area.

And because of that experience, you’ll be more likely to try it again or take things even further (confidence) next time.

Starting JillFit.com elevated the game for me.

I couldn’t afford to be at the gym 3 times a day anymore. I couldn’t afford to be stress over every morsel of food that passed my lips. I couldn’t afford to maintain an ongoing mental calculation of calories, carbs, protein, water ounces, minutes of cardio and whatever else going on in my brain every second.

And I definitely couldn’t afford the brain power I’d previously had used to beat myself up over non-perfect food choices. Guilt was draining. Remorse was draining. Self-criticism was all too draining.

Starting my blog leveled me up and gave me an outlet to create something bigger than just trying to achieve “the perfect body” because honestly, that’s fine, but it’s also an ego game.

Writing something online, sharing my thoughts, opinions, tools and solutions with a larger audience gave me a sense of meaning and purpose that was not ego-driven. And frankly, not obsessively self-centered like trying to “lean out” all the time. #Bye

Wouldn’t it be nice to be focused on something other than your body? Wouldn’t it be nice to feel a sense of meaning outside of needing to be lean?  Wouldn’t it be nice to have the time and mental energy to do other stuff?

Creating something bigger than yourself doesn’t mean you have to give up working on your fitness goals, it just means that you have cultivated other mean-makers in your life, and spending time on those feels good, too. And as a result, the fitness and eating stuff becomes more automated, less obsessive.

Starting a blog or an online business might not be for everyone.

For some, creating something bigger than themselves might be starting a family, getting a dream job, traveling, building a relationship, doubling down on friendships, starting a side hustle, whatever.

But I don’t think you get to build your confidence without building something else.

For those of you interested in building a personal brand online (like JillFit), or starting a blog, you know that I launch my 11-month Best of You mentorship every November, but as a primer for that, I have 15 spots open for my in-person JillFit Business Retreat this September in Asheville, North Carolina.

This annual event is held in the beautiful mountains of North Carolina, and is a 2-day business retreat for women, September 9-10^th. It’s for female health/fitness pros who want to elevate their online business game, see what it’s all about and network with 100 like-minded women who are doing the same.

The early bird discount goes away June 30^th, and like I mentioned, I only have 15 spots open to the public, so grab yours sooner rather than later.

You can access all the JillFit Biz Retreat info here, and of course, let me know if you have any questions ;)

To confidence, competency and choice!

Xo,

Jill