The course will be self-paced so don’t worry if you are chillin’ with the fam over the 4^th of July weekend – you can check your email when you get access again. The course will be delivered via email from July 3^rd to July 7^th.

Also, since it’s free, it would be a huge favor to me if you would consider forwarding this email to one friend who you think could use a little mindset work ;)

Next up, I want to share something with you …

This past weekend, I was spending time with a good friend of mine, and we were discussing going through hard times—the pain, the uncertainty, the straight-up discomfort of not knowing what’s going to happen or what to do.

It feels so terribly unnerving.

See, I am a huge fan of action. If something feels off in your life, move. Physically, mentally, emotionally, whatever, and when YOU move, your perception changes, and then your outcomes change right along with it.

But sometimes, action is not the answer. At least, forced action is not.

Doing something as a ploy to manipulate a situation is not the answer.

If you are acting, not because it’s something you genuinely want or what's in your integrity, but instead because you think by doing so, you are able to control someone else – that's not the answer.

For example, I had a friend years ago that within her first year of marriage, she and her husband would constantly threaten divorce whenever they got into an argument. If they started fighting, one would threaten to leave. And then during the next argument, the other would threaten to “file papers.” And things went on like this for months.

Until … they had a very honest conversation that neither of them actually wanted a divorce when it came down to it.

They just wanted some reprieve from the pain. They wanted to feel in control in a situation that felt uncontrollable. They wanted to use action (divorce) to manipulate a situation.

But it wasn’t the answer.

The answer was going through the tough stuff. Sitting in the discomfort of an argument, working through it with clear communication, feeling the painful emotional hits and working to find a solution.

And so sometimes, the only “action” to take is the only one left, and that is to surrender to and go through the discomfort of something.

You don’t get to skip steps.

You don’t get to take massive action without some struggle to go along with it. You don’t get to create something bigger than yourself—a business, a body, a relationship—without at some point looking inward and evaluating yourself.

Some people might disagree, but I don’t think you get to create something amazing without diving directly into some pain and uncertainty.

And I don’t think that’s a bad thing.

I truly believe that going through hard times—dealing with pain, discomfort, uncertainty, NOT feeling in control—is the exact thing that makes us stronger and more powerful later.

Struggles don’t mean you’re doing it wrong.

If you choose to see them that way.

Back to my conversation with my friend this weekend ... he said, “You know, I really commend how you have handled things. So many people would go for quick fixes, like pleasure, power, instant gratification, and rash decisions. It says a lot about you that you are able to work through the tough stuff without calling on distractions.”

That meant a lot to me.

Because I do think—and I have been so guilty of this in the past!—most people avoid the hardest stuff by doing things like binge drinking, turning to drugs, gambling, avoiding, being asleep to their misery, deflecting, incessantly using dating apps, gossiping, and acting rashly to avoid dealing with the discomfort and pain of what is going on in their lives.

Whether we want to deal with it now, or are forced to deal with it later, I truly believe that none of us get through life without dealing with some shit.

And when we change our perception of the hard stuff to not necessarily being earth-shattering, but instead inevitable (gah!!!), we can almost see the utility in it. It’s there for a reason. It’s there to help us learn, practice and fortify our self-love, self-compassion and understanding.

Talk about control! The ultimate in control is being able to trust yourself and double-down on you, no matter what life throws at you.

Which is why I’m so passionate about doing mindset, introspection work. Working to understand yourself and why your feelings of not-good-enough might be holding you back. What self-beliefs do you have that are not serving you?

Also important: how do you sit in the uncertainty of not being able to control everything? How do you get a comfortable with discomfort? And how do you embrace the suckage, feel it, honor it, but not let it define you?

So! Next week, we are going to have a lot of fun! So don’t forget to add yourself to the FREE 5-day #MindsetSkillset School, here – starts Sunday.

Let me know if you have any questions!

Xo,

Jill