Last week on social media, I asked, “Do you have to be a certain leanness to help others?”
This is discussion is close to my heart, as a personal trainer in the gym for 12 years and an online trainer for 6—I spent many years lamenting not being “in show shape” or “fit enough” to be qualified to train
people:
How can I help someone else when I can’t even do it myself??
On and on, I struggled to have the perfect body, the one I needed in order to feel worthy enough to train clients. Surely if I don’t have the body my clients aspire to, they won’t think I’m credible enough, they won’t want to train with me, I won’t make any money, I won’t be able to motivate them, THEY’LL FIND OUT THAT I AM A
FRAUD!
But, for many years as you know, I also yo-yo dieted, losing the same 20 lbs multiple times a year to “lean out” for fitness competitions and photo shoots. And when I was what I considered lean enough (even though I was obsessed with food and exercise), I’d take plenty of photos to leverage: “See! I am fit! I am healthy! I am qualified! I’m worthy! I’m good enough!”
And looking back, it all feels so silly now—the
idea that having a perfect body would be the #1 motivator for my clients.
It even feels embarrassing to say, because how shallow, how one-dimensional—thinking that I was “inspiring” others with my six-pack, when really, it was all a cover-up for my own feelings of unworthiness.
Needing to get leaner, leaner, LEANER was the way I perpetuated my body obsession and justified my own self-absorption.
It wasn’t for my clients’
benefit—besides, they just wanted to get results, they didn’t need me to be shredded. They just needed the guidance, accountability and THE SKILLS of a good coach.
And your body fat percentage says little about your ability to COACH others to success.
Telling people what to do isn’t a skill. Writing a meal plan isn’t a skill. Attaining “the perfect body” and then thinking that alone would suffice to help clients get
results is absurd.
The problem wasn’t that I wasn’t 12% body fat, it was thinking I needed to be in order to be worthy enough to help others. What a waste!
What is a skill is coaching others to success. Period.
And that, to me, is a combination of empathy, expertise, communication, patience and consistency (I answer the question of, “Don’t you have to be fit though?” below in the
P.S)
But I didn’t see that back then. When I was wrapped up in my own body insecurity and unworthiness, I didn’t see any other way I could contribute. A rockin’ body was my only asset and when I didn’t have it, I was a fraud.
In order to move past this, I needed some kind of mental reframe.
And that breakthrough came for me when I started my blog in 2010 (JillFit is officially 6 years old now!). I found another outlet for
my energy and I started introspecting on why, despite my outward success, that I could never feel good enough. Never lean enough, successful enough, smart enough, pretty enough, good enough.
It was because feeling secure had zero to do with my body and everything to do with my perception, my mindset.
Because you are qualified right now to help someone.
If you have something to share—your story,
your expertise, an insight that others can learn from—then you are doing the world a disservice (!!!) by keeping it inside out of feelings of not-good-enough.
You don’t have to know everything to help someone right now. You only have to be one step ahead of the person you are trying to teach.
You are qualified if you decide you are.
Don’t “wait until” you are leaner, have more certifications or the timing
is perfect (hint: it never will be!) Start now, where you are with what you have. Not doing so is selfish, ha! ;)
Gals, my FREE #ActionAcademy course begins on Tuesday. It’s a 6-week course delivered via live webinars (don’t worry, I’ll be sending you the recordings, too!) and emails to help you level up and start overcoming your mindset blocks through taking massive action. You don’t have to be fitness pro to join. All you need is an open mind and a desire to create
something bigger for yourself.
You know what to do (and if you don’t, I’ll be teaching you that too), but implementing can feel impossible when you are constantly stressing about:
- Am I good enough? Qualified enough?
- Who am I to do this? I’m nobody.
- Everything
has already seen said!
- There are already so many people further along than me.
- Will anyone even care what I have to say?
- What will people think? They’ll judge me.
- What if I fail? I’ll look like an idiot.
I get it, because I thought all of those things a million times, especially in the first 6 months of my business.
But the only way out is through.
You have to dive into the discomfort
of taking action even when you are scared out of your mind. The good news is that I am going to be holding your hand all the way through it in #ActionAcademy ;)
Begins this Tuesday October 11th – AND it would be a huge favor to me if you know of someone who you think this would benefit, if you’d forward this email to them! The more, the merrier—plus, it’s free so why not.
Let me know if you have any questions and I’ll see you Tuesday!
Xo,
Jill
P.S. If you are wondering, “But Jill, don’t you have to be fit to be a trainer?” Here was my answer when someone asked this on Facebook (a great
question):
