Writing this email feels awkward.

Just want to preface it with that because well, I always endeavor to be as honest and open as possible with you. So when I feel vulnerable, I say it.

And so …

Today I want to share with you some personal news that I have not been ready to share publicly until now. But just the idea of sharing it feels super self-indulgent because on one hand, I’m like, who even gives af about my personal life? And then on the other hand, JillFit is a personal brand and many of you have been with the brand for the last 6 years and have grown up with me.

So I dunno.

BUT, what I do know is that I want to honor your connection to JillFit because you are my family. Many of you have asked me about this over the last year, and I have ignored all questions because I have not felt ready to talk about until now. Like Elizabeth Gilbert says, I was living the story, not telling it yet.

I won’t ever share what is going on in my life in real time, considering most times I don’t necessarily have a handle on it yet. And I feel it’s irresponsible to share anything but a fully realized story and the insights that come with it to the JillFit readers. You can trust that if I share something with you, I do so after examining all the angles, getting all the lessons and coming to terms with the outcomes myself (not to mention, turning it back to you, and challenging you to also level up ;)).

Of course I will always share plenty of struggletown moments because the way I see it, we are all the same. And like Brené Brown says, “Shame can’t survive being spoken.” So I am sharing something that I felt deep shame, embarrassment and disorientation over for a time. But that’s fine and normal, and I’ve done a lot of self-compassion and introspection work to move through it all.

And so, I am ready to share some news that I will not be sharing on social media, only with you women who have been here with me for the long haul.

My husband, Jade Teta, and I are splitting.

Some of you know Jade really well—the Metabolic Effect peeps. And some don’t know him at all and might be like, why am getting this? Lol. And if that’s the case, totally fine, you can stop reading right now because this email is not about fitness or nutrition, it’s a personal share from me, and I hope you will hold space for me.

After 11 years, Jade and I have decided to part ways amicably, as best friends and with mutual respect and love for one another.

Again, it feels awkward sharing this here, but at the same time, it has felt like unfinished business and now it feels like a relief.

As many of you know, I am of the school of #RadicalResponsibility, which means taking 100% ownership of everything going on in my life. And it is no different here.

But I want to make a distinction.

To me, a “successful” relationship isn’t necessarily until-death-do-us-part.

I mean, that’s great when it’s the right decision for the couple. But I do think it’s easy to go down the personal development/self-criticizing track and make it mean that everything needs to be fixed and worked on ad infinitum. Or that we are obligated to stick things out, even be a little bit of a martyr because we think, if we can just do enough work on ourselves, then we should be able to be fine with any scenario.

But what I have found is that not everything is meant to be, and that’s okay.

I think while tenacity and resiliency are admirable (believe me, we worked on this baby plenty!), sometimes in the past it didn’t serve me to chose the default of just working harder on the status quo without actually questioning what I really wanted.

So to me, a successful relationship whether it’s 11 days, 11 months or 11 years, is about showing up fully with that person, growing with them, learning from them, teaching them, and getting all the lessons that I need, as an individual, from that relationship.

Jade has always been a mentor to me—in business, nutrition and training and personal development—but we built a solid relationship together by creating some amazing experiences, growing both of our companies into what they are today, and by impacting the lives of hundreds of thousands of others we would not have otherwise reached.

I have grown so much personally as a result of being in this space with Jade, and I would not trade it for anything. I would not be the strong and confident woman I am today without this incredible relationship as the tool to get me there.

And in that way, I can't see it as anything but a wild success.

Jade will always be a soulmate to me. I don’t say that in a religious way or in a way that assumes there is one perfect person out there for me. “Soulmate” to me means teacher, or spiritual partner, someone who comes into my world to help me get the lessons that I need in the moment that I need them—the mirror held up to my face to show me where I have work to do. But also to help me experience deep love, joy, friendship and partnership. Our time together helped me surmount some huge insecurities and feelings of unworthiness. And I couldn’t be more grateful.

Byron Katie says, “The person you live with is your greatest teacher.”

And I agree 100%.

Our best friends, our family members, our partners, spouses, siblings, children and lovers will always challenge us. They will push our buttons. In a way, on a spiritual level, I have to believe that’s even why we choose them.

And to me, that’s a huge gift because it means that we care enough about them to go through the fire with them. If we didn’t care, there would be no fight, no deep connection and no lessons. I am so grateful for all the warriors in my life. And I wouldn’t change this experience for anything.

And so …

If you want to know how you can support us in this news, I’d ask not for your sadness (I’ve already done enough of that and worked through it all) or pity (I feel like I’m on top of the world rn) or additional questions about the what, where, why and how. None of that is relevant.

Instead, I’d ask for you to do some deep diving yourself. Take a look at your world and really appreciate the great stuff, acknowledge the good stuff, and examine the not-so-awesome. Where are you loving life, and where are you not?

Be honest with yourself, and then be as honest with your loved ones as you possibly can. Probably the most important lesson I've learned over the last several years is that our honesty is a tremendous gift to them, no matter how tough or scary it can be.

And to me, the gift of your own introspection is everything❤️

Thank you for being here, for being open and for holding this space for me. I am so grateful that anyone even reads these long ass emails, ha! But either way, I am so appreciative of you.

This life is amazing. So much gratitude for you. Happy holidays.

Love,

Jill

P.S. If you are wondering what any of this means for our businesses, Metabolic Effect and JillFit have been completely separate for the last 3 years, and Jade and I will continue to support one another and probably work together again in the near future. It’s all good ;) Xo