Just a little mindset note today …
Ever feel like life is simultaneously awesome and also crappy?
When I left North Carolina 18 months ago, packed up all my stuff and drove across the country to start a new life in LA, I had this kind of dual reality happening: on one hand, my marriage was falling apart, but on the other
hand, I was completely consumed by gratitude and possibility.
It was … disorienting.
The first day, I drove 16 hours and stayed overnight in Kansas City. I got to my hotel room around 9pm and thought to myself, gee, this was a shitty day—having cried off and on the entire day—but I also had this thought:
If I can find 5 things to be grateful for on this day, then I’m doing pretty
good.
And I did, and I still have my list❤️
Remember: gratitude is a game changer.
It immediately changes your perspective of a situation from one of victimhood to one of ownership and hope. Gratitude allows for me to feel in my power, by helping me appreciate things even in the toughest of circumstances.
Yes, it’s tough to pry yourself out of wanting to play the victim—we all
want to protect our hurts—but once you do, the outcomes speak for themselves.
So, after I did my gratitude list—things like, for my financial independence, for the chance to meet new people and have new opportunities, for the business I’ve built at JillFit that I derive so much meaning from, etc.—I had this thought, something I’d heard a million times but not recently, especially as an ex-Catholic, and that was, “This too shall pass.”
To me, it
acted as a kind of anchor in a moment that could have been the most despairing of my life. But it wasn’t because the “universe” or god or angels or whoever was looking out for me, it was because I was looking out for me.
I choose to believe that things are always transient, and this won’t be forever.
When you are struggling, whether it’s with your fat loss efforts or your relationship or business growth or your own sense
of purpose or meaning (hello, midlife crisis), the key is not just saying, but actually believing that things that happen in life are always transient.
That belief system is what sets the outcomes in motion. Some examples:
- You’re a little hungrier this week because you’re on your period. It won’t be forever.
- You’re going through a rough patch in your relationship, it won’t be like this forever.
- You’re having an existential crisis
and don’t know if you are living up to your full potential. You’ll eventually figure it out.
- You’re despairing because your business is in a slump or work sucks. Things will eventually change and you’ll know what needs to be done (and if you haven’t gotten that message yet, then the time isn’t right yet).
- You have 2 kids under 4 years old and you feel like you are losing your mind. Guess what, they won’t always always have 2 kids under 4.
It’s been said that
the only certainty in life is uncertainty.
And the affirmation that things are always transient can be a kind of port in that storm.
The best part? All it requires is a perception change (which we call doing “mindset work” here at JF) using some really simple tools like gratitude, ownership, benefit of the doubt, taking responsibility, choosing a different reality, even moving physically (a workout or a geographical
move, ha!) will all shift your perspective and in turn, your reality shifts accordingly.
If I am struggling, I find a lot of solace in knowing that things won’t always be the way they are right this second.
I can do the mindset work, but then I can also just let life have me, and trust that I can handle whatever transpires. THAT is the ultimate in control--being able to double-down on you, and have the full, scary, uncertain,
painful experience. And then ... survive it.
Gah! I love this stuff! Thank you for being open to these messages, even when it’s not directly about health and fitness. I believe that so much of our success comes down to getting our mind right. It starts with your perception and ends with your outcomes.
Alright, I have a few quickie announcements for you:
- A heads up that I’m actually going to be talking about my
relationship a lot more over the next couple weeks. Not to dump, but because when I announced that Jade and I were splitting a while back, I literally received hundreds of responses, and so many of them said something to the effect of, “Thank you for this, it really made me look more closely at my own situation, which scares the shit out of me but I also feel like I need a change, I just don’t know what to do.” I want to share my process because it wasn’t all ease and self-love and
sunshine and rainbows. I was a mess at times, and it was ... fine at times. Now things are great, but it took YEARS to work through everything. I want to share in the hope that you can relate.
- I just rolled out the #PassionToPlatform campaign, where I am answering questions about online business every day this week on social
media. It’s because I am doing something I’ve never done, and that is, offer business coaching at a super affordable rate via a 2-hour virtual seminar I’m holding on March 6th. It’s $27, and I am going to be outlining a 12-week game plan for you to follow if you are someone who wants to get out of the time-for-money grind or that 9-to-5 lifestyle
and learn how to leverage your expertise and experiences to build a platform and make money online. The course will be recorded so even if you can’t make it on live, you’ll get all the info. At $27, it’s a no-brainer if you have any interest at all, I’ll be sharing all my best strategies, those gleaned over years and tens of thousands of dollars spent on internet business education. Details and enrollment HERE.
Okay, that’s it for now.
As always, if you have any questions or concerns, you can always reply and I’ll get back to you ASAP.
Hope you’re having a fabulous week!
Xo,
Jil