Okay, so … I assume you know who Drake is. Hip-hop artist and one of my favs. And as much as I want to make this email a tribute to his smooth jams (and to just annoy Jen Sinkler ;)), I thought I’d share a small insight I had recently that helped me solidify an important mindset shift, inspired by Drake.

So, whenever I get interviewed for podcasts, one thing that I frequently get asked is, “What has been your biggest failure?”

I like this question, but I always feel super obnoxious when I answer it because I normally say something like, “You know, I don’t know, I haven’t really had any major failures, so …” and then I will typically spout off something about not hitting the numbers I want on a launch, or an old business partnership that went sideways. Lame stuff.

But, in general … I just can’t think of that many.

Or should I say rather: I don’t have many perceived failures.

Which sounds arrogant as hell, but really it’s a perception thing, I think. Because I think many of the things I’ve done would definitely be considered failures by others’ standards, certainly my marriage being one (not how I see it, as you know).

Last week the new Drake (aka Drizzy) album came out, and one of my instant favorites was a song called ‘Do Not Disturb’—p.s. if you have listened to the album and have a favorite, please respond to this email and let me know, ha!

The lyrics of ‘Do Not Disturb’ are fairly introspection lol, and one line goes like this: “I’d probably self-destruct if I ever lose, but I never do.”

At first listen I thought this was pretty unapologetically arrogant. Like, gee, must be nice!

But then I thought about it more, and had an insight: isn’t the concept of “losing” subjective?

I guess with the exception of losing some kind of measurable race (which is objective), but for things that transpire in life, like relationships, business ventures, career, romance, etc., aren’t the ebbs and flows of these things subjective?

Is a marriage that ends truly a failure?

Is a business idea that goes sideways a total failure?

Is a product launch that doesn’t meet its expectations … a complete failure?

Is a friendship that dissipates as a result of lifestyle choices actually a failure?

I don’t think so.

The key here is 2 things:

The world changes whether we want it to or not. Our relationships change whether we want them to or not. Our industry changes whether we want it to or not. Technology is always changing whether we want it to or not. Other people change, whether we want them to or not.

And as a result of all of those ongoing changes, we have a choice:

When we choose the latter, “failures” in the sense of something being a complete dead end just isn’t true.

Oh, that launch didn’t pan out as well as you wanted? No issues, back to the drawing board and launch again with more insight.

Oh, that relationship didn’t last? No problem, what lessons can you bring into the next one?

Oh, you lost your job? Might be a chance for you to really think about what you want to do for the rest of your life.

Oh, you forgot to call someone on their birthday? You’re not a shitty friend, you just forgot because you are human and now you can call them up—3 days later—and say happy birthday and explain that it slipped your mind but that it doesn’t mean that you don’t still love them and appreciate them.

Do you have courage, self-trust and frankly, self-respect to choose to give yourself the benefit of the doubt, and not take personally things that don’t go exactly to plan?

When you take the emotion out of things, you’ll see that imperfect outcomes don’t mean anything about you, so much as provide an opportunity for reflection, growth and the ability to get better at that thing.

So, engage.

Mess up a little. Struggle through some stuff. Then level up. Try again. Learn. Grow. Stay clinical. Appreciate your effort. Hone your attitude. Be grateful AF.

And pivot. Always.

And then confidently declare, just like Drizzy says, “And really, I think I like who I’m becoming.” ;)

Xo,

Jill

PS. A head’s up that #FastPhysique is right around the corner! It’s a 9-week physique change exercise program, and registration opens this Tuesday April 4^th—get it on your mental calendar, and as always let me know if you have any specific questions. Stay tuned for more details!