One of the biggest barriers I see for those trying to accomplish anything bigger—body change, building a business or delving into personal development and mindset work—is mismanagement of expectations.

Meaning, we want it all and we want it now.

And I just think that’s a nature of humans, especially in a convenience and instant-gratification society (remember when you had to actually keep an encyclopedia deck at your house to look shit up?? Lol). I’m not complaining, but what isn’t accounted for is that:

You still gotta do the work. You still have to take lots of action. You still have to endure the hard lessons. You still have to learn from those lessons and then practice more.

And you still have to put in your reps.

So there’s a disconnect between what we want (all of it now) and how it actually works (practice + experience x time). It's called the Expectation Gap. And that gap can leave us frustrated, anxious, feeling defeated and wanting to give up.

And those feelings are THE #1 reason why people stop pursuing the thing they say they want. Make sense, but to me, this all comes down to expectation management and learning to fall in love with the process instead of romanticizing an end result.

Fit people don’t hate the gym.

Successful people don’t hate their work.

Wise people don’t hate the hard lessons.

The end result isn’t the point. The pursuit is the point. It’s precisely the work it takes to achieve something that makes the result so sweet.

When my business coaching clients get frustrated with Facebook or have a hard time generating new email leads or feel like they want to give up, it’s fine, but it’s also a reminder of why not too many people get to be successful in that regard—this shit is hard! And it has to be, otherwise everyone would have it, and it wouldn’t be all that special.

The people who get the big results are the ones who aren’t always focused on the end result, but find a way to love what they are doing right now, on the daily, with no end or “relief” in sight.

So how do you learn to love the long road and manage your expectations along the way?

I’ll never forget my first online sale. I was walking around Target and my phone pinged with a Paypal receipt for $25. I couldn’t believe I got to be SHOPPING AT TARGET AND MAKING MONEY AT THE SAME TIME. Lol. It was $25 I didn’t have to be physically present to make, and I was grateful beyond words.

I could have, however, been pissed that I’d only made one sale—a completely different perception of events. Which perception makes it easier to keep going? Your perception is a choice.

I don’t care if you have 8 people subscribed to your newsletter. That’s 8 people who want what’s in your brain—deliver for them. I don’t care if you didn’t lose any weight this week, but hey, you ordered your burger sans fries, that shit is a win. I don’t care if you only got through 10 pages of a personal development book this week, that’s 10 pages’ worth of insight you didn’t have before.

There are places to find gratitude everywhere we look. The key is choosing to see them as wins and not not-good-enoughs. Gratitude is a game-changer.

Sure, the grind of online business can be tough, and going to the gym every day can get tiresome, and practicing mindfulness around food can feel like a lot of work. Especially when you aren’t seeing the kind of outcomes you’d like moment to moment (expectation gap).

But if you say you’re passionate about something and you want to achieve something bigger, then what other choice do you have? The old way will always be there. It’s the default. The status quo is what 99% of people choose, and I’m not judging it, it’s fine and it’s always there. You can always throw in the towel and just default to your comfort zone.

So now that you know the old way is always going to be there, so what if it takes time, effort and can be an emotional rollercoaster? If you are serious about it, then you will do what it takes to make it happen. If we decide to do this, our only option is to get our mind right about it, anything else is misery.

And who said it was going to be easy?? Please. If it was easy …

If you hate the environment at your gym, how can you make it better? Can you meet some new people? Can you change gyms? Can you work out at home? Can you try some new classes? Can you get a new fitness goal and work with a coach online? Can you, I dunno, hang out at the front desk more and get to know people individually and form new friendships?? Ha!

If you dread the “diet food” you think you need to be eating, how can you find a way to enjoy it more? Can you add something to bump the #SatisfactionFactor? Can you try a meal delivery service? Can you get together with a girlfriend to swap meal ideas? Can you dine out once a week to switch things up? Can you give up your need for nutrition rules and ask, do I actually even like this stuff??

If you hate your day job, but you need to keep doing it for a time while you build your online business, then what ways can you improve your day-to-day? Do you have relationships with coworkers that need work? Can you have some honest conversations with them? Can you implement boundaries more effectively? Can you work on managing your energy better so you don’t get sucked dry by your clients? Can you find effective ways to decompress throughout the day? Can you find anything to be grateful for?

Your emotions will always clue you into whether or not how you are operating is working for you.

Tap into them and assess. You might never be able to control outcomes and you certainly can’t control other people, but what you can always control is your response.

And choosing responses and perspectives that serve us and make us feel good and empowered instead of frustrated and defeated, will always make the (often long) journey more manageable and hey, you might even find it fun ;)

Hope you are having a great week, let me know what’s new in your world!

Xo,

Jill

P.S. The JillFit Business Retreat in September in North Carolina is now open for enrollment, only 18 spots left total for new registrants! Get all the details HERE if you are interested in learning to get your in-person training/health coaching business into the online space.