I’ll never forget the moment I become so miserable doing the all-or-nothing eating routine that I threw up my hands and finally frankly didn’t give af if I gained the 50 lbs I was terrified of gaining because I just couldn’t do what I was doing anymore.
I would wake up every Monday morning embarrassed and ashamed over how “out of control” I was over the
weekend, I’d hit the gym at 5am for 90 minutes of cardio as penance. I’d turnaround getting out of the shower to avoid the mirror and use the guilt and self-disgust to fuel me to “be better” and “eat clean” this week.
Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday would be fine—I’d eat out of my Tupperwares, go to bed early, train hard, feel good.
Then by Thursday, I’d start being grossed out by my food, I’d skip it, get take out, I’d have some candy or glass of
wine. And by Friday, I was over it. Exhausted from the dieting, feeling deprived, I’d throw out all my Tupperware’d food (yes, I know wasting food sucks, but anyone who has yo-yo dieted knows that you buy all the diet food with the best intentions of eating it all) and just start eating whatever I wanted. It would begin as a reward for a few good days of eating and then allow it to snowball into eating everything because I might as well do it up right ‘cause I’m just going to start
depriving myself again on Monday.
The anticipation of deprivation was all the excuse I needed to eat with abandon. And I did, only to wake up on Monday feeling the exact same way I did the week before!
So after months and years doing this same routine, I was forced to look at it objectively: the approach I wanted to work so badly WAS NOT WORKING. I felt weak, undisciplined, fat and not good enough.
ALL THESE OTHER WOMEN CAN DO
IT, WHY CAN’T I?
Ugh, it sucked.
The emotional self-abuse was way worse than any junk food I ever ate, because it was actually the thing that kept me feeling trapped, defeated and feeling as though I’d never be okay.
It wasn’t until I stopped treating myself with disgust and negativity, that I saw other options existed.
That I didn’t have to be perfect to be healthy. That I could find ways to do
things that worked for me and didn’t require I beat myself up (that shit didn’t work anyway!).
It wasn’t until I started learning and implementing mindset tools like self-compassion and perspective and giving myself the benefit of the doubt and objective investigation that my eating situation finally FINALLY started feeling less miserable, and less obsessive.
The objective change (eating #moderation365) didn’t happen until I made room for the emotional change.
Moderate eating wouldn’t have ever been an option before because it "wasn’t good enough," and it felt like failure. Which is ironic considering the weekly deprive-and-binge eating I was doing was actually WAY WORSE over all than eating moderately every single day of the week is.
Mindset work gives you the wiggle room to find a solution. It’s the thing that turns physically healthy into enjoyably healthy. It bridges the gap between knowing something and doing
it.
Mindset is simply the perspective you choose, and that is what changes your whole reality.
So.
In it, I teach every tool, strategy and insight I have used with myself and clients to move
the dial on anxiety, stress and negative emotions over the years. I put all my best stuff in this course.
Let me know if you have any questions! Lots of ladies are already off and running, the course begins right
away!
Xo,
Jill