A month ago, I wrote to urge you to make your life count, to really live, to do ALL THE THINGS, after I witnessed a man die at a café in Malibu and then watched Jade bring him back to life via chest compressions.

And today I am writing you from the Las Vegas strip, where I’ve been holed up for a conference for the last few days. It’s the morning after the largest mass shooting in US history, occurring here at a concert right outside the Mandalay Bay hotel.

I was safe at the Hard Rock hotel, quite a bit from where the shooting took place. Thank you to everyone who’s sent messages, notes on social media, emails and texts. I have received them, and I’m lucky that I’m fine. But I’m heartbroken that the same can not be said for the 50+ people who were fatally shot and the 500+ more injured in the tragic event, this senseless act.

But my friend Danny-J and I were supposed to be at the Mandalay, actually.

We’d RSVP’ed to a real estate investment reception at the hotel, and it was running from 8-11pm. We went to dinner at our own hotel and finished up around 9:45pm, at which point Danny looked at me and asked, “Do you wanna go?” And I replied that I was tired and wanted to skip.

If we’d decided to go, we’d have been pulling up around the same time as the shooting began.

Luckily our friends who did decide to go to the event are safe, yet they were under lock-down at Mandalay until about 7am this morning. And Danny knew plenty of people who were at the concert, and the ones she heard from are okay.

Man, I know that so many are not waking up as fortunate as we all are today. And gosh am I praying for the families of those victims! The confusion and pain they're experiencing right now is unimaginable.

And while a huge part of me is still processing and in many ways speechless, writing has always been my outlet. When I want to make sense of something, I write. I’ve shared stream-of-consciousness thoughts at JillFit.com for the last 7 years, and I won’t stop now.

You are part of my most trusted tribe, and so I want to share some quick thoughts with you.

I don’t have the answers to why this happened, and I don’t think anyone does. It’s senseless. It’s beyond tragic. But it is the hugely unfortunate reality of what can happen. It’s real. It’s a real possibility. It is reality as evidenced by it’s transpiration.

And that shit is scary. Terrible. Awful.

But also … real.

So what do we do?

Do we take to Twitter and blast the government over gun regulation? Maybe.

Do we get angry as hell and cuss out the 64-year old man who did this? Yes, we will.

Do we hug our loved ones even tighter and tell them, “I love you,” and share how much they mean to us? I hope we do, because we know just how fast life can be taken away from us. At 2am I texted my parents and my ex-husband to let them know I was safe and that I loved them.

Do we stay vigilant in our day-to-day lives, and try to stay aware of our environments and surroundings better? I think we do, although a cowardice act of raining down bullets on defenseless victims is hard to even comprehend as a possibility.

But do we stop attending concerts?

Do we stop traveling on airplanes?

Do we quit going to movie theaters?

Do we stop seeking out new experiences?

Do we throw in the towel and blanket-statement this world as effed up and say inside our homes to prevent anything terrible from befalling us?

I don’t have the answer, but my sense is that I don’t think any of that will work.

Concerts and travel and movies and churches and events bring joy! They provide us rich experiences, and 99.9% of the time they reinforce that truly living doesn’t have to be scary, it can be amazing. And I mean, we know based on the recent hurricane tragedies that even staying inside your homes doesn’t guarantee safety!

I don’t think I can live in fear, even though things that elicit a huge amount of fear are happening all the time—and dang if they aren’t happening around me a lot lately!

But as I’m sitting here in the Las Vegas airport getting ready to fly back to LA, I’m having the weirdest emotional hangover because on one hand I am still shaking from last night’s tragedy, and on the other hand, this conference, Thrive, that I just attended has me more fired up than I have been in years about what is possible if we just have the courage to step out of our comfort zones!

I am terrified and devastated. And I am excited and hopeful.

Literally, two back-to-back Instagram Lives, one all about hope and power, and the next informing you guys that we’re safe here in Vegas, though we’re beyond-words saddened: