The Obstacle is the Way … to trust yourself around food.

If you have not read the best-selling book, ‘The Obstacle is the Way’ by Ryan Holiday, I highly recommend it.

Ironically, I actually listened to the audio version of it as I made my way across country after leaving my marriage, lol—a story for a different time—but the concept is simple: moving toward the hard stuff is how we grow, learn, practice resiliency and ultimately fortify the strongest version of ourselves.

Oh, just go toward the hard stuff. Sounds easy, right? Haha!

This is not easy for most of us.

Us humans like to avoid pain, deflect confrontation, shy away from uncomfortable experiences and try our hardest to stay as safe, certain and comfy as possible. Normal. And also fine.

Except…

That staying small and safe and comfy is also a recipe for staying ill-equipped to deal with some of the tough things that life throws at us.

And in his book, Holiday makes a case for why allowing ourselves to have the full, scary experience is the path to freedom.

Full exposure is what boosts confidence, competency and ultimately unyielding self-trust.

And HERE’S where this is a useful tool for overcoming eating issues.

For those of us who struggle with food obsession, overwhelm and chronic dieting, we are typically scared of certain scenarios:

• Attending social events where the food situation is uncertain.
• Feeling scared to keep certain foods in the house because we don't trust ourselves
• Going to other people’s houses because … what food will they have? Will there by enough?
• Vacationing or “relaxing” around food.
• Not having “our food” that we make in our own kitchen.
• Fear of getting hungry because we don’t trust that we won’t eat everything and more later.
• Sharing food because what if then we're left hungry/dissatisfied?
• A constant need to be in control.
  

Control.

Control.

CONTROL.

Food can be a control mechanism. Just like exercise can. If we just eat the “right things” and do enough exercise, we’re guaranteed a certain outcome.

For me, it used to look like this:

Being in control of food/exercise...
Meant being in control of how my body looked...
Meant being in control of others’ perception of me...
Meant being affirmed/accepted/loved.

If I could just control my eating, I could get the affirmation I needed to feel good enough.

Ugh. Sad but true.

But here’s the thing: the opposite of control is trust.

When I trust myself, when I trust the process, and when I trust in my practice and capabilities, I don’t need to try to control other people/situations/food items/circumstances because the trust I have for my own abilities and practice outweighs all of that.

And when we expose ourselves to the scariest things like other people, situations, social events, vacations, certain foods, etc. (“the obstacles”), we allow ourselves to have the experience of learning to trust ourselves.

When I can get through a social event without having gorged on everything, that creates A SHOW OF EVIDENCE that wow, I guess I won’t automatically go off the rails if exposed to brownies🤔

And that show of evidence helps us build confidence and self-trust to then do more.

Like Holiday says, the obstacle is the way.

And for us, that means exposing ourselves to some of the scariest food situations on purpose, so that when we’re inevitably around ice cream again, or have to attend a social event, we know we can handle it. And we do. We’re strong, capable, steadfast, calm and ahem, in control.

Piece of cake. Pun definitely intended ;)

In the first week of the Food Obsession Boot Camp LIVE course—which starts next week—I’m going to challenge you to some Exposure Therapy. And we are going to, together, start putting ourselves out there so we can trust ourselves more and learn that we don’t have to try to control every single thing every second.

Because remember, self-trust is the ultimate in control.

When we trust ourselves, everything else is easy.

Are you ready to join me live? Enrollment for FOBC LIVE closes THIS Monday April 2^nd and we begin right away on Tuesday April 3^rd.

Grab your seat here for customized nutrition coaching with me for the next 4 weeks. We're going to go into all of this and so much more.

Let me know if you have any questions!

Xo,

Jill