Do our insecurities keep us scared and small? (I think they do :))
Published: Sun, 10/27/13
Hello !
Yesterday on Facebook, I mused about insecurities. And I think as women, it is only natural that we have them. It's normal, it's common. Buuuuut, I don't think it always serves us.
Allow me to explain. Here's what I wrote:
Been thinking lately about how our insecurities affect how we interact with people and the world. In the last 3 years, I've worked hard to call myself out on my BS and hold myself accountable in the moments I feel defensive, threatened or unworthy (occurring as a result of insecurity).
It's not been pretty. And I still struggle.
And though feeling insecure at times is certainly normal, I don't think it serves us. It keeps us feeling scared and helpless.
I can't help but feel like the most secure people are the most courageous. They give compliments and praise freely because they don't make someone else's wins mean they're not winning too.
I remember when I was still competing, I would see someone training for a show or getting lean and I would make it mean that I was fat and insignificant. If someone was going to work out, I would make it mean that I was lazy and slacking. It's funny how when we come from an insecure place, we make other's successes mean we suck. And that's completely untrue.
The fastest way to security, I think, is to look your struggles dead in the face, own them and take action to do something different. Once again, this requires courage. Once you get to that place, nothing someone else says or does feels threatening or condescending. It's just what it is. No need to defend or take offense. How liberating :)
It's not been pretty. And I still struggle.
And though feeling insecure at times is certainly normal, I don't think it serves us. It keeps us feeling scared and helpless.
I can't help but feel like the most secure people are the most courageous. They give compliments and praise freely because they don't make someone else's wins mean they're not winning too.
I remember when I was still competing, I would see someone training for a show or getting lean and I would make it mean that I was fat and insignificant. If someone was going to work out, I would make it mean that I was lazy and slacking. It's funny how when we come from an insecure place, we make other's successes mean we suck. And that's completely untrue.
The fastest way to security, I think, is to look your struggles dead in the face, own them and take action to do something different. Once again, this requires courage. Once you get to that place, nothing someone else says or does feels threatening or condescending. It's just what it is. No need to defend or take offense. How liberating :)
This goes right along with the latest JillFit blog post on self-help and the perception that it's "condescending" and "too preachy." Give it a read, and see what you think.
I'd love to hear your thoughts. Do you resonate with this? How have you worked to overcome your own insecurities and start owning your power? Respond and let me know!
Ox, Jill