Hi ,

I was talking to Jade the other day about the idea of "acceptance."

On some level, the idea of acceptance doesn't sit well with us, does it? It feels like giving up. And yet we constantly hear experts and gurus talking about "self-acceptance" and how it's so important to growth. But how can that be the case when it feel like throwing in the towel and not striving??

I get that, totally, because when I was deep in my body-obsession mind frame, I remember feeling as though I needed emotions like guilt, remorse, shame and dissatisfaction to propel me to action. Because without them, I felt like then I'd really give up--eat everything in sight and become the whale I was terrified every second of becoming.

I felt like post-binges, guilt and remorse kept me "in check." I felt like I needed to feel dissatisfied with my body because it kept me "in line."

I felt like I needed to hate my body to spur me to do the things necessary to get it to change.

Huh?

Thinking about it in these terms almost makes it sound kind of ridiculous, doesn't it? Like, how can you hate your way to a better body?? And yet, that's EXACTLY what I thought would work, and so I hung onto my negative self-talk as if it were my lifeline. Like it was THE THING that promised a leaner, fitter physique. If I just hung on to my dissatisfaction it would propel me to the next level.

Hmmm.

I don't know about you, but I seriously doubt anyone's ever made positive change from a negative frame of mind. And yet we think negative motivators are useful?

So ... back to acceptance.

I don't know that acceptance is synonymous with resignation. I don't think that acceptance means giving up. 

In fact, I think acceptance can mean appreciation. When I "accept" something, I'm acknowledging it. I'm finding VALUE in it. I can be GRATEFUL for it.

And so. I've started to think about acceptance not in the negative, but in the positive. Gratitude for what is. Gratitude for my reality. Gratitude for the jumping-off point. 

Once I can find gratitude in a situation, NOW I can actually move from there. NOW I can actually take action. NOW I can actually DO the things needed to better my circumstances. NOW I am coming from a positive frame of mind where I can make positive change.

I love this. All gratitude does is change our perspective--offering possibilities rather than discouragement.

It's so simple. 

Positive motivators bring positive change. And negative motivators never last. 

Guilt and shame might help you abstain from binging the very next day. They may work for a transient time, but they are not a sustainable fat loss strategy.  In time, they wear you down mentally and eventually strip the desire to strive right out of you.

So whatcha think? Could you, instead of guilting yourself into action (which will always inevitably peter out), find bright spots in your current place? Be grateful for exactly what is. AND THEN. And then, start moving forward from a place of power? 

Catch yourself this week. When you are in the midst of negative self-talk, find ONE THING to be grateful for in that moment. Gratitude is a game-changer :)

Ox, Jill