Hi ,

I hope you had a great weekend! I had a really great/interesting/introspective weekend and I wanted to share some of my thoughts with you.

My sister-in-law, Dr. Jillian Teta and I get together every couple weeks for what we call "Bloody Brunch" where we yes, drink a couple Bloody Marys :) and get into deep discussion for a few hours. We chat about life, love, struggles, challenges, our mindset, personal development, etc. Jillian is one of my spiritual teachers in many ways, and I love her dearly.

And yesterday at Bloody Brunch, she called me out:

"Are you being honest about it? It sounds like you aren't."

And man was she right! Let me explain...

I don't know if you've read Brene Brown's 'Daring Greatly' (if you haven't, I highly reco), but the book covers the concept of vulnerability. In other words, the ability to show up to yourself and others in a completely honest way, and let the chips fall where they may. 

Likewise, over the last year or so, I've personally been thinking and practicing the concept of "self-trust," which is my version of vulnerability--trusting MYSELF to handle whatever fallout occurs as a result of letting those chips fall. An example of this would be showing up in a friendship or a romantic relationship without pretending to be someone else or something else in order to garner the love, affirmation or approval we think we need from them. In other words, quitting the constant self-editing.

We all do this, don't we? It's normal human stuff, isn't it?

In a way, we're conditioned this way from childhood: do this; get affirmation. Do that; get reprimanded. Maybe in the past, it's been by a parent, a teacher, a partner, whatever. But over time, we learn what behaviors garner positive affirmation, and those that don't. So, without really even knowing we're doing it, life becomes a constant show--we censor, edit, pretend, adjust to please, let others only see those perfect sides we deem lovable.

Vulnerability and self-trust is the opposite of all that.

It's being, acting and doing exactly what and who you are.

And holy crap, that's scary...

Because ... what about the potential fallout? Rejection. Potentially losing love or friendship. Feelings of failure. The pain and discomfort associated with all that. The way those things make us FEEL. Our emotions. Handling others' emotions.

All scary outcomes have the power to make us feel not good enough. 

But.

Could it be necessary? 

Could going through all of that pain, discomfort, fear, etc., actually benefit us in the long run? Vulnerability, as Brene Brown talks about it, says that yes, that's exactly the case. Going "all in" on YOU opens up the potential for more and deeper connection--with others and yourself--as a result.

Think about it. 

Once you clear the air and show up 100% authentically--not in a bomb-dropping, see-if-you-can-handle-me-now way, but in a genuine, honest way--any connection you make is now built on openness and TRUST. And the fear of "what if they find out about the real me?" dissipates.

People see you. And you also see yourself, just as you are. And it's not scary, it's just what is. 

The experience of making that shift from the pleasing-approval-seeking MO to an honest and vulnerable one is like pulling off a Band-Aid. There's a fast, painful period of time followed by what Jillian calls, "a very nice, calm liberation."

See why SELF-trust is so important in this process?

Ask yourself, could you handle the pain, discomfort, scariness, whatever that it could take to get that raw and open with yourself and others? Going that deep into self-realization? Opening yourself up to all those scary outcomes? 

But can you also see the potential for complete and total liberation, too? Aaaaaaaaah, so juicy! 

Well, I'll tell you what. It's a practice, and as Jillian pointed out, I am still, STILL practicing! And that's okay. 

One thing I love is my good friend, and personal development writer/sweetheart Amber Rae calls this, "life without the mask." In this article here, she says, "Dare to lean into opportunities for expansion."

What a cool perspective! And if we can see the process of self-trust not as pain but as opportunity, it's not as scary. I've learned so much from Amber over the last few years, and I want you to experience her too. I want you to go deep with us:

The two of us are holding a free, live discussion tonight at 8pm EST/5pm PST here. I'd love to see you on the call. We are going to be talking everything from self-trust to finding what makes you "come alive" and how to start actualizing YOUR highest self to develop a deeper sense of purpose and ultimately happiness and peace.

In other words, all kinds of personal development and mindset woo-woo ness :) If you love this kind of stuff, then register for the call. Bring your questions and personal experiences. 

Let me know if you have any questions and "see" you tonight! 

Ox, Jill

P.S. Yes, the call will be recorded, and all those who register will get the recording :)