,

I have a friend who I've known for the last 8 years, and every time I see her, she is "trying to lose 10 pounds."

Do you know anyone like this? They are forever trying to lose a few l-b's or they are constantly stressing about a small skinfold on their waist or the fact that their thighs touch. And every time you see them, THEY LOOK THE EXACT SAME.

My friend? Looks amazing. Fit, athletic, works out like a champ. But ... looks the same. And that "same" physique is one that a million other women would die for. #truth 

I don't know. I struggle with this. I talk to women all the time who, by any standard, look fabulous. And yet, they are forever dissatisfied. It's always something. And that something is a moving target: I want to get my legs leaner. Ok check, legs leaner. Now my upper body looks emaciated. Ok, work to build upper body. Great, now my cardio has suffered. Get back my cardio capacity. Now my strength sucks. 

Aaaaaah! Can you see how this is a trap? 

At some point ... don't you just have to find a way to bridge the gap of dissatisfaction so that you can relax?? 

The utility of dissatisfaction?

In the past week, I've gotten the same question two separate times, and I wanted to share it with you. It went something like this:

"Jill, I have been working on my mindset, while also giving myself the benefit of the doubt and doing my best. While I know I can be leaner, I am finally at peace with my body. I feel balanced, like everything is effortless and I am good. Now what? It feels weird to not have a goal."

What's your first thought when reading this?

I'll tell you mine: If you have reached the point where you like your physique, you have settled into a nutrition and training routine that is effortless and you "don't know where to go next," YOU HAVE FOUND THE HOLY GRAIL.

I'll tell you what to do: relax into your life!

Finally!

Isn't this what we are all after? To bridge the dissatisfaction gap (the gap between where we are and the arbitrary goal of where we think we should be). 

But, this begs the question: do we NEED dissatisfaction to feel like we are progressing? Is it useful? Do we NEED goals to feel like we are on track? And could we even recognize it when we begin to feel satisfaction?

A couple years ago when I started the JillFit Lifestylers (now ME Lifestylers Club), a had one of the participants tell me after being in the program for 8 months: "Jill, I joined your group to lose 30 lbs. I lost 8, and I've never liked myself better."

Is this success??? I would say yes!

So, is fat loss and physique development all about the numbers? Or is there an mindset element too? Could we use OUR MIND to bridge the gap between where we are currently (and what is effortless) and where we think we need to be? Where, like my friend, we have been aiming for 8 years? At some point, isn't it time to look for other tools? Because the current tools are. not. working. 

Automating Your Physique (AYP)

I've talked about the concept of "automating your physique" or AYP many times. It's a process where you work to minimize the physical time and mental effort it takes to maintain your physique. It's a weight maintenance system. It's where you do the minimal amount of exercise (intensity and duration) to maintain--efficient exercise--and you also eat so that you never reach complete deprivation (which we know leads to bigger binges later). 

Automating your physique is really about simply ... NOT THINKING ABOUT IT ALL SO HARD.

And that doesn't mean you eat with abandon! Besides, that's stressful too, isn't it? It just means your life simply doesn't revolve around all those billion nutrition "rules" anymore. You've finally found what works for you, and you minimize the obsession. You allow yourself the space to simply do your best and realize that you are not making or breaking your physique with every miniscule decision. In others words, you RELAX into your body, you RELAX your mind and you see the full picture, not just last night's binge. YOU HAVE PERSPECTIVE.

So, do you need a goal?

Goals can be great, but how about this one: just maintain your physique using the least amount of mental energy and physical time possible.

Besides, "maintenance" is a goal, too, isn't it? It is, and it goes on forever!

The good news about that goal, however, is that if you do it right, you get to actually move forward with less stress, a more peaceful mind and a life that doesn't revolve around if your next Tupperware-packed meal is ready to roll in 3 hours. 

Can we all release a collective sigh?? Aaaaaaaaaaaaah :)

Because constantly stressing about having to lose 10 lbs almost fully assures that you will indeed NEVER lose those 10 lbs. Because mindset matters. Perspective matters. Your quality of life matters. You matter!

And so.

This is a reminder that you can always take a deep breath and take your time. You don't need a goal. You don't have to be constantly dissatisfied. You can relax into your process. You can both like who you are and also continue to strive without the negative self-talk and constant self-berating. You can practice self-acceptance while also striving. 

You can find a way to feel good and happy right now. You can work your mindset to embrace the things about you that kick ass. IT'S OKAY TO LIKE YOURSELF!

And you can work to automate your physique so you are not constantly obsessed with food and exercise every second. 

I will be opening registration for a virtual 4-week Food Obsession Boot Camp on May 28th (beginning June 1st) in which I will be going through all of this in detail: action steps, tools, practices and insights into Automating Your Physique, so keep your eyes peeled for that. More deets coming soon :)

Wishing you a fabu week! And don't forget how amazing you are!

Ox, Jill

P.S. Been receiving more and more emails from women who are "getting there"--they are putting some of the JillFit tactics into practice and overtime, becoming less obsessed with food and maintaining their physiques effortlessly. THANK YOU to all of those who have already shared, and as always, I love to hear about your progress and journey into #balance!