Hi ,

I was at a family barbeque yesterday. Typically, I love barbeques because they are fairly easy to eat healthy at ... or at least not super crappy. I loaded up my plate: a burger with no bun, some grilled chicken, a sausage from the grill and a side salad. Topped it off with a few vodka sodas over the 3 hours I was there.

As a general rule, I eat to feel satisfied every single meal, because I know that if I get to the point of feeling deprived, I'll eventually overindulge. So when faced with a BBQ, I choose protein-rich foods, and yep, many of them might be higher in dietary fat, like meats and cheeses--mostly because these things fill me up and make me feel satisfied so I don't have to eat a huge volume of food. I generally skip starches and do lower-starch alcoholic drinks if I am going to indulge.

Typically, I stick with 2 rules:

1. Starch OR fat, but not both.
2. Starch OR booze, but not both.

I'm not saying this will work for everyone, and it's not a get-lean formula, but it's certainly a surefire way to feel satisfied AND maintain my weight fairly effortlessly. I'm not constantly trying to lose, I just want to maintain my sanity and enjoy my life without being obsessed with food.

ANYWAY. 

Yesterday at the BBQ, we had some family friends over and one of them hadn't seen me for about 5 years, and he said, "Gee Jill, last time I saw you at a barbeque, you were eating hard-boiled eggs whites and asparagus out of a plastic bag. I felt really bad for you!"

Haha! But dang. He was right! 

And though at the time, I didn't feel bad for myself, I can see that I my obsession with food was running my life. I was competing a few times a year, and even when I wasn't competing, I was playing the "black-or-white dieting" game. You know the one: where you are EITHER super-tight eating clean as a whistle OR you are bingeing nonstop on everything that you placed on the "off limits" list.

I played the all-or-nothing dieting game FOR YEARS. 

And you know what's ironic about that? I was only a tiny bit leaner than I am now, but food and exercise ran my life. I remember being at my parents' house for Thanksgiving in 2006 and actually DOING TWO-A-DAYS CARDIO the entire Thanksgiving weekend. No show on the books, it was just "what I did" to maintain.

Yo. That is not normal. And it's certainly no way to live. I missed out on a lot of quality time with my family, I was distracted a lot at get-togethers and I was making everyone else stressed out with my weird dieting and constant need to exercise.

And what I've come to find out is that "quality time with family" doesn't need to mean we need to sit around a table and eat crap nonstop. Besides, that's anything but stress-free! 

But it does require a certain amount of go-with-the-flow. Sure, you can and should still be discerning with your meal choices, and stick to healthy choices, but realize that having a sausage at a family cookout is not going to immediately cause you to put on 10 lbs.

This is perspective. This is wisdom. This is doing your best and letting that be good enough.

And it's something I didn't have back in my competition days. I was always anxious about everything: my environment, my Tupperwares, my water, my protein, if something had a sauce on it, if I was going to be able to eat every 3 hours, if I would be able to get in my 2 hours of cardio, how salty something was, my ability to go to the grocery store and get "my food," etc. 

All fine, except that in order to learn how to live a sustainably healthy lifestyle, you have to find a way to NOT HAVE TO STRESS ALL THE FREAKING TIME.

That kind of anxiety is unsustainable, and it certainly won't work long-term if you want to achieve anything in your life besides getting to 10% body fat.

I remember the moment I started to change my tune. It was right after my last photo shoot in a string of shoots that I had dieted really hard for. I had nothing left on my calendar, I had decided not to compete again and I said to myself, "Gee, I am going to have to figure out a solution on how to eat forever, because I have no more shoots or shows in anticipation to 'diet down' for."

I felt a little depressed actually. I asked, "Will there never be a time where I'll be able to eat sweets and treats freely every again???" And then I answered with a no. If I wanted to find a way to maintain my weight moving forward with no threat of a show looming ahead "to keep me in line," I would have to give up the all-or-nothing mentality for good.

And on one hand that was depressing as hell. I would never be able to eat freely ever again if I wanted to be healthy and maintain my weight moving forward. But then ... THEN. I started to feel liberated.

You know why I started to feel liberated? 

BECAUSE NOW I HAD ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD TO FIGURE THIS ALL OUT.

I no longer felt in a rush to lose a bunch of weight or get really lean really quick. I was mentally strapping in for a long haul and the URGENCY of NEEDING ALL THE RESULTS RIGHT NOW simply fell away.

FREEDOM.

So from then on, I started learning my own body. I started questioning all the diet rules I'd clung to. I started eating more intuitively. I started TRUSTING the process and relinquished the need to have all of the answers this second. 

And surprise, surprise, it all started feeling effortless. 

Am I as lean as a I was when I was competing? No way. But I am within 15 lbs of my leanest ever and have stayed there for 3 years. I am healthy. I am strong and I hardly think about food anymore. Now, my only goal is balance.

Balance is everything. Moderation is my goal every single day. Today. Tomorrow. Monday. Whenever. 365 days a year.

But the road from competition mindset to balanced approach took a long time. And it started with a choice to simply relinquish control and watch what happened. It started with a single choice on one day. And over time, it's gotten easier and easier.

This is one of my favorite topics to talk about with JillFit Ambassador Allison Siemens, owner of Wholesome Fitness, who is also an ex-competitor and recovering yo-yo dieter. She and I have had virtually the same experience and she gets it. It's been years for her too, but she is now fully committed to helping women go from all-or-nothing to a #Balanced365 approach. Even her company name--Wholesome Fitness--is completely in line with her message and the programs she puts forth.

Allison is a great coach, an amazing trainer and has the years, experience and insight to help those who are currently trying to live that healthy lifestyle every single day. No more crazy diets. No more double cardios. No more beating yourself up over weekend binges. Just inner peace, awareness and yes, a certain degree of going with the flow in order to enjoy life. 

Allison's newest product, The Glowing Life is available this week only (TODAY IS ACTUALLY THE LAST DAY TO GRAB IT!). It's an insane accountability program to help you through the dog days of summer. Eight weeks of coaching, support and insights around how to stay stress-free and balanced this summer. All the details and registration info here.

Let me know if you have any questions! Wishing you an amazing (and moderate!) week :)

Ox,

Jill