Hey ,

I want to get a little woo-woo on you today. Are you ready? :)

I'd want to discuss perception. As you know, I always say that our perception is our greatest tool, and I believe that so strongly because so much of what we perceive is subjective. 

For example, two people can see a car speeding down the road and then cutting off traffic to get off at an exit. One assumes he's an asshole who needs to learn how to drive, and the other person thinks he must have an emergency he needs to attend to-who knows, maybe he has his pregnant wife in the car going into labor. Whether the driving is safe or okay or not, the scenario can have several different interpretations. And the perception we choose can serve us or not. Even if the guy was an asshole, assuming that makes us angry and upset (of course it does!), but when we give the driver the benefit of the doubt, we are able to calmly drive on and forget the incident quickly.

Our perception of the world is subjective.

Often, we see exactly what we want to see, or even NEED to see, to continue to believe the reality we've chosen. Nothing "bad" about that-heck, that's what humans do. But then the question to then ask is, "Is my perception serving me, or not?" 

Below is an excerpt email from the 10-Week Mindset Makeover ecourse, and I wanted you to experience a little taste of what some of the emails entail in terms of voice, education and insights. Here you go:

I believe that we are all what Jade calls, "Meaning-making machines," in that we use our own biases and insecurities to create meaning out of anything we want, oftentimes to our own misery.

Here's an example. If I am feeling insecure about my physique and a girlfriend says, "I haven't eaten sugar in 3 months and I feel great," I could take that statement and through my own "insecurity glasses" make it mean that a) I too need to give up sugar, b) I am no good because I still eat sugar, c) She is better than me, d) I am fat and disgusting :)

This ever happen to you? It has me. And it is in these moments that I take things personally (even simple statements like that that obviously have NOTHING to do with me) and make assumptions that I am somehow not good or doing something wrong.

However, if I am not taking things personally and making subjective judgments (i.e. making things mean whatever I want them to mean based on my own insecurities), I may just see her statement objectively, and I might think instead, "Good for you! That's great that you feel better!" without any supplementary judgment about what her statement means about me.  

Many times these kind of meaning-making thoughts happen automatically. And it's very common, we all do it. But it's important to know that most times, these automatic judgments occur out of a deep insecurity within us, and because on some level, we don't feel good enough. 

Humans are funny-we can literally make anything mean exactly what we want it to mean in our heads. If we choose to take something personally, it is just that-a choice. We can just as easily make the choice that something someone says is NOT about us, and give people the benefit of the doubt. 

The first step in choosing to not make some I'm-not-good-enough meaning out of everything is to BECOME AWARE of when we are doing it. If you find yourself feeling insulted, riled up, sad, pissed off or offended, ask, "Am I, in this moment, taking something personally that is actually not about me at all?"

This occurs in relationships or careers, but most often it happens when our bodies are concerned, where insecurities often abound. Let's talk about "being in shape."

As a former competitor, and having worked with dozen of competitors over the years, this phrase "being in shape" or "being in show shape" or "being lean" has become, in my opinion, synonymous with being good-with having self-worth. 

But attaching our self-worth to our physique is dangerous.

When we can only feel good, successful and happy when we are in what we consider, "great shape," we're in a holding pattern because we can't feel gratitude, satisfaction or be okay any other way. Besides the fact that being in super lean shape year-round is an impossibility (not to mention unhealthy), when we attach our self-worth to our body fat or dress size, we become oblivious to all the other incredible things we have to offer the world.

You might have heard this message before from JillFit, and I believe in it strongly:

It is critical in the quest for happiness, that we figure out ways to feel proud, happy and accomplished in things outside our bodies so that we can fulfill our sense of self-worth that a new way. 

Everyone has something that they are uniquely amazing at: a great mom, a great teacher, an awesome sense of humor, a good friend, intelligent, caring, kind, great daughter, sister, businesswoman, etc.  

Question: How come we weigh these things so little compared to our physiques? What is it about attaining an enviable BODY that holds us hostage?
Answer: BECAUSE OF WHAT WE MAKE IT MEAN :)

We make being "in shape" mean that we are somehow more worthy, and our culture affirms this. Ask anyone who's lost a whole bunch of weight at some point in their life when it was that they got the most attention. They'll say it was when they were really losing weight noticeably. So I can understand the desire to want more of that ... it feels good and we want to keep doing whatever we need to in order to garner more affirmation and good feelings and kind comments. But it's when we need that in order to feel worthy or relevant that we get into trouble. 

EXERCISE: Do you think you could transcend the need for affirmation around your physique and start developing your self-worth apart from it? I want you to write down 10 ways you are amazing that have absolutely nothing to do with your physique. DO IT RIGHT NOW :)

Ladies, today is the last day to register for the 10-Week Mindset Makeover, and then it's going off the virtual shelves until 2015. If you feel like you have enough "to-do's" when it comes to nutrition and exercise, and you need come concrete HOW-to's, this is the program that bridges that gap. Join over 500 women who have already registered for the program this week! Going to be an amazing 70 days of mindset reboot!

I did a quickie FAQ about the program here. And you can grab your spot in the program here.

Let me know if you have any questions! 

Ox,

Jill