Each place I go, every time I step out of my comfort zone, I have to learn a new coffee language, and it’s … uncomfortable. But forced changes to my coffee sitch is really just a metaphor for life. Here are some lessons I’ve learned:

Last Fall, when I went to Italy for 2 weeks by myself, I didn’t speak the language, hadn’t had the chance to do much research on anything, but had always wanted to go, so just booked it and jumped.

And for two weeks, it never got comfortable. It never felt not awkward. I never stopped stressing that I was going to look like an idiot or that someone was going to come up to me speaking like crazy in Italian and I was going to be like, “Um, what?”

You know what happened? All of that stuff. All those things I was the most scared of happening happened. And I endured. I figured it out. I kept moving. I did my best. I did it. And I can’t even explain the degree of empowerment I experienced as a result. It was so valuable and though I still barely speak any Italian, I now have the knowledge that doing something scary will always be worth its weight in experience.

You know I have to throw moderation in here. But I haven’t always advocated for it. Early in my career as a personal trainer and again as a competitor, I was very much an all-or-nothing person. If I wasn’t eating perfect, then why bother even trying? If I didn’t have a solid hour to hit the gym, then why bother going?

But what I found out over time was that go-hard-or-go-home always ended up going home. When I went full speed in perfectionist mode, I always burned out quickly and had zero resiliency. A single slip-up became a total binge.

Moderation is what always takes the edge off enough so that I don’t have to go crazy on either end – restriction or overindulgence.

And you know what, when it comes to coffee, moderation works best too, evidenced by my first day in Italy when I drank an entire French press BEFORE learning that the beans are a thousand times stronger than in the states (made for espresso, obvi) and I ended up with a serious case of low blood sugar and had to lay down for the entire day! Ughhh.

A few years ago in France, I was in control-freak mode over the coffee situation. I was in the land of tiny coffees and for me, coffee is a ritual and I like VOLUME.

My friend Jen Sinkler and I talk about this a lot because she loves single shots of espresso that take her 30 seconds to drink, whereas I enjoy the experience of drinking an enormous coffee that lasts an hour. Shots of espresso are so … anticlimactic. Yes, I realize for the coffee connoisseurs out there, you’re probably shaking your head right now because good espresso is some kind of delicacy, but sometimes you just want something BIG. Call me American ;)

ANYWAY. I’m in France, needing a large drip coffee with cream, just like I like it. And ... nothing.

Finally, finally, after searching all day, I find a Starbucks and order a large Americano and ask for “half and half.” They don’t know what it is, so I muster the most amazing French accent and say, “crème fraiche, s’il vous plait.”

They look at me like I’m an idiot (I am) and say, “Quoi?”

I attempt it again, slower this time and with an even more amazing French accent: "Creeème fraaaaaiche," rolling my 'r' and everything. Still nothing! Blank faces. And then finally, the barista looks at me and says, in perfect English with a French accent, “Oh, you want FRESH CREAM??” Um, yes, yes I do, thanks! *hangs head in language shame* Lol.

And you know what? I don’t have a good French accent (shocking!), and I don’t know Italian. But what I can do is mess up and learn.

I can put myself in those uncomfortable situations, look like a complete ass and then learn and more importantly, laugh about it later. My mess-ups are what teach me. My mess-ups are more like “level-ups.” They help me grow and build my confidence. And when I shy away from experiences that scare me, I deny myself the opportunity to struggle and ultimately to get better.

Last November, fellow-coffee addict Neghar Fonooni and I were at a conference in Mexico and no matter how hard we tried, THERE WAS NEVER ENOUGH COFFEE and WHY IS IT NEVER HOT ENOUGH??

For 5 days straight, we struggled through the coffee situation – always trying to make it resemble what we were used to at home. But no matter how hard we tried, it wasn’t the same. Too cold. Not enough. Not strong enough. These cups are tiny. Not enough cream, whatever.

Looking back, the entire thing is hilarious, but what it taught me most of all was to give in to the experience and go with the flow. Try to enjoy the differences of a new culture, appreciate them.

The coffee was never going to be hot enough, or strong enough. So I had a choice. I could continue to struggle and fight with those differences OR I could accept that I was not at home (duh) and try to enjoy the fact that we have access to coffee at all, and maybe even be grateful for the new experience.

The nature of getting out of your comfort zone is just that – un-freaking-comfortable. The lesson is in the actual experience of being uncomfortable. Because discomfort forces me to come up with new solutions, new insights and figure out a way to be okay – or even happy with – something different. And I can’t think of anything more transformative than honing that skill. 

For those of you wondering, since being in Australia, it looks like I’ve settled on a “long black” ... which is essentially an americano. So far so good!

So. How do you take your coffee? ;)

Wishing you an amazing, caffeinated week!

Ox, Jill

P.S. Be sure to follow my adventures Down Under on Instagram -- or if you just like amazing nature photos :)