After I announced the big JillFit bonuses last Sunday for Jen Sinkler’s brand spankin’ new Lift Weights Faster 2.0 program, I promised you I’d let you know when you can grab it, and the time is now. The place is here.

Remember, you have to nab LWF2 from my special link, above, in order to get my bonuses (which I’ve listed at the bottom of this email, as a reminder). This offer is good through this Friday March 13^th only.

I want to share with you something kind of personal.

I was going back and forth about sharing this because as trainers and fitness professionals, we are supposed to have all this stuff “figured out,” but … I have always come clean with you gals, trying to be my most open and transparent possible. That’s my commitment to you, and I want to honor that.

As a bodybuilder slash figure competitor, that was all I really new – body part training and long cardio sessions on machines at the gym. I was a gym rat through and through – dumbbells and machines mainly. I threw in barbells every once in a while for basic movements like back squats, bench and shoulder presses. But I always defaulted to isolated movements that helped me “build the body” I needed for aesthetic purposes. I’d spend an hour on chest and triceps alone, followed up by 60 minutes on the stepmill or the elliptical. I was very much in the mindset that weight training and cardio were separate. I’d hardly even sweat during weight training sessions because let’s face it, doing 3 different types of biceps curls over a 20-minute period didn’t exactly get the old heart rate up (still love hammer curls tho ;)).

Suffice to say, I’d never lifted weights faster.

Anyway, over the past 4 years, I started being exposed to different types of workouts, things I thought might be beneficial, but I was so intimidated to try because … what if I looked like an idiot? I was a trainer for Petes sake, my form had to be perfect, right? What if I tried something and couldn’t do it? It would only confirm that I wasn’t perfect and I indeed had many shortcomings (of course, I do have plenty of shortcomings, but in my old perfectionists days, I wouldn’t even acknowledge the things I couldn’t do or the things I’d potentially suck at – it was like going there mentally was too devastating to even acknowledge). It would confirm that I was, indeed, not good enough.

And so I chose exercises I was comfy with, and that came easy to me. I taught those movements to my clients and refused to see any other way to train. It was all I knew, and because I was too scared to try anything new, it was all I did.

Until something happened. Like it always does.

In 2010, I was at a Perform Better conference hosted by Rachel and Alwyn Cosgrove. I was there to learn about fitness business, but since the attendees were mostly trainers, they hosted a metabolic resistance training workout that morning.

And I went because how cool, we get to train with Rachel and Alwyn!

Only, over half the movements were things I’d never done before in my bodybuilding workouts! I’d never even picked up a kettlebell before, never tried battling ropes or did some of their more fancy pushup and plyo variations.

HOLY. WHAT SHOULD I DO?? I AM SUPPOSED TO BE A TALENTED TRAINER AND IMPRESS THESE GUYS, AND I AM GOING TO END UP LOOKING LIKE AN IDIOT!

I’ll never forget this moment: the movement we were supposed to be doing was a kettlebell swing. Simple enough, right? I’m athletic. I’m thinking, I can do this, just mimic what everyone else is doing …

Except that it was the first time I’d ever picked up a kettlebell, and here Rachel was, an established female fitness expert, an author, someone I desperately want to impress, watching me like a hawk. Holy shit. And so I attempted it, but it ended up turning into a squat with a front raise. Very bodybuilder-like. Two separate movements: squatting with this awkward ball thingy between my legs and then stand up and front raise the weight.

No. Nooooooo.

And I knew I was doing it wrong, but I had no idea what I was doing or how my body was moving in space or how to change it to make it better, and Rachel is standing there coaching me, “IT’S NOT A SQUAT … LESS BEND IN THE LEGS … DRIVE YOUR HIPS … IT’S NOT A SHOULDER MOVEMENT. POP THE HIPS, IT’S NOT A SQUAT.” Omgomgomggggg . To her credit, like an aware trainer, she made it seem like she was coaching the whole room, but I knew her eyes were on me. And I am struuuuugling.

Now, you might be reading this right now going, “Jill, WTF, what’s the big deal, we all struggle with exercises sometimes,” and you would be right.

But remember, back then I didn’t have any of that perspective. I was a naïve trainer who was terrified of not being good enough and letting anyone see the fraud that I felt like inside. I was a ways away from owning my struggles like I do now. I was a perfectionist through and through, and I was scared and insecure and ashamed.

And if there’s one thing that’s true about perfectionists, it’s that they won’t try anything new if there’s even the slightest chance they won’t do well. So, as a result, many perfectionists don’t do anything. They stay paralyzed in inaction because they’re so anxious about failing.

Wow. Just recounting that story has me shaking my head in sadness for that insecure, small version of myself. But I guess that’s part of the journey. And now looking back, I am so glad for that opportunity for failure. I’m so happy I had that experience of getting out of my comfort zone and going through the struggle and discomfort and shame of that. Because since then, it’s been nothing but action in the face of fear. I know I can handle anything, even if it’s not pretty. SO WHAT.

Because the way you figure out what you're doing is by … wait for it … trying. Going toward that thing that is scary. Experiencing that discomfort and fear and uncertainty, putting yourself in those positions and enduring.

I am sure you can relate to trying something new and the fear of looking like an amateur, even though that’s precisely what you are. It’s humbling but man if you aren’t better off for the experience! And I congratulate you if you’ve taken that first step and tried that thing that scared you. That’s amazing. And a big thank you to fellow fitness blogger Emma Swansson, who came to her first-ever CrossFit workout in Sydney last month just so we could hang out! THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT.

Anyway, it was exactly 2 years ago when Jen, Neghar and I bunked up for a week at a yoga retreat in Sedona. I’d never met either of them in person, but they needed a third roommate for the ‘Dirty Dancing’-style bunks we were sharing there, so I agreed to go, even though I’d normally turn down something so out of my comfort zone.

I am so grateful for saying yes, for immersing myself in the newness of the strength and conditioning world and as a result, forging some of my most valuable friendships.

Jen has been pivotal in shoving helping me get out of my comfort zone! It usually goes something like this:

Jen: “Jill, we’re doing X workout.”

Jill: “I’m not doing that.”

Jen: “Yes you are. You’re going to love it.”

Jill: “No, I’m not, I suck at that.”

Jen: “We’re doing it.”

Then, I begrudgingly let her have her stubborn way, and then 2 hours later I'm elated because I learned something new, struggled my way through it and have a huge grin plastered on my face because … empowerment.

I know first hand the kind of empowerment and transcendence that comes with learning new skills, putting yourself in situations when you can potentially look like an idiot, and getting through of all of that discomfort to find that, holy shit, you’re pretty freaking strong, mentally and physically. Unapologetically strong, that is ;)