Yes, you read that correctly. I ate chocolate for breakfast (well, a 7am pre-breakfast snack perhaps).

Gasp!

Years ago, doing something like that would have a) never been ‘allowed’ on my diet, and b) would have began a tailspin from there of eating more and worse crap all day, and c) would have made me feel like I was a huge failure who “blew it" and sucked.

A tad dramatic, yes, but when we work so hard to operate within the guidelines of the dozens of nutrition “rules” we’ve accumulated over the years, its easy to fall into the trap of feeling like breaking those rules makes us bad, or unsuccessful, or a failure.

Sometimes, we collect so many rules that we set it up to think, “I either need to be fully on board, following them perfectly, or I might as well be completely off and eating anything I want.”

But, because we are so used to operating this way, thinking for ourselves when it comes to nutrition feels scary, because what if we mess up? What if we don’t choose the right thing? There’s a lot of pressure to make the right decisions all the time, and we (mistakenly) believe that a single “slip-up” will make or break our momentum or have a huge effect on our physiques.

That couldn’t be more wrong.

With nutrition, you are always navigating. Eating is never not going to be something you have to do. And thinking that you must follow all the rules to perfection is an insane standard to hold yourself to. And in fact, often causes us to make and worse choices later! Deprivation and draining willpower constantly is not benign. At some point, we’ll have the urge to overindulge. Of course we will. And it has nothing to do with not trying hard enough. In fact, it probably has to do with trying too hard –hard to the point of rigidity and then breaking.

So, back to my morning …

After I popped the chocolates and set out on my walk, I started thinking about how unconventional it was to begin the day with caramels. But it’s something I’ve done before, too. Not because I think its particularly healthy or because I am trying to prove something. Just because, well, it’s there and I want it. To hell with the time of day or the day of the week.

See, over the last few years, I started noticing something: the more permission I gave myself to shirk “the rules” and find an easier way or a more personal way or a more enjoyable way to eat, the less willpower I expended on nutritional choices. I simply stopped feeling the urgency and stress over food.

Permission was the thing that reduced the amount of mental energy I spent on all these nutrition "to-dos.” This might sound counterintuitive because, “Jill, permission leads to me eating everything!!!”

And maybe it does the first time. Because permission is so novel. But permission is the opposite of rule-following, and at first, giving yourself permission feels like the Wild Wild West, because OMG WHAT DO I DO???

But over time, and with practice shirking the rules and getting better at a mindfulness practice, permission comes to be the ultimate in control. It’s precisely the thing that reduces the mental energy we need to make better decisions. Because it takes the urgency and stress out of decision-making.

For me, a couple of delicious chocolates in the morning (or whatever time of day I want them) actually facilitates better decision-making later, because I’m conserving willpower. I’m less likely to overindulge at dinner, binge after dinner or eat everything in sight come Friday night – because I’ve already taken the edge off, earlier.

So, here’s your homework.

I want you to ease into this. Many people cannot afford to play around with their eating during the week because they have to pack meals for work or make meals for their family, and as is required, they have to stay more on a schedule. I get that.

I want you to go rogue on the weekends. Shirk the rules. That does not mean eating to your hearts desire, because remember that doesn’t make us feel satisfied/good either, but instead change things up.

Here are some examples:

The key is simply this: shirk the mothereffing rules and don’t be scared of the fallout.

You don’t need to be perfect. In fact, trying to be perfect is trying to fail. No thanks. Instead, go rogue.

Okay? Okay.

Use your weekends as your proving ground to experiment and report back on how it feels! Good luck ;)

Xo,

Jill