Last year, at the JillFit business retreat, my friend Shira Nelson, owner of Mom Beyond Baby, relayed a story about ketchup.

See, Shira is all about helping busy moms create solutions that are fast, easy and effective, because honestly, aint nobody got time for gourmet meals that take 2 hours and 20 ingredients. Amiright? 

Anyway, Shira was telling me about a blog she read, written by another woman who she follows online. And the content of the post was all about how to make your own homemade ketchup. It included the in-depth recipe, why eating real, whole foods and nothing but real, whole foods is the responsible thing to do, especially when you have kids. And it listed all the toxic and poisonous ways that processed food is slowly killing you.

Gah!

Okay, maybe a tad dramatic, but for Shira—someone who’s entire message is based on shortcuts and beyond-easy solutions for moms with zero time—she had a really hard time with the idea that in order to be a responsible mom you have to be making your own ketchup and not settle for anything less.

And I didn’t blame her for getting fired up.

Because for Shira and the hundreds of women she’s worked with, telling them that they have to do everything perfectly when it comes to health and fitness is just discouraging and disheartening. And her experience coaching over the years has affirmed that more often than not, WOMEN WON’T STICK TO A PROGRAM THAT REQUIRES THEY DO EVERYTHING PERFECTLY OR ELSE.

Those kinds of programs sound nice and we like them in theory, but less than 0.0001% of people can actually do them long term. And for the 99%+ of us who need to be thrown a bone, we need some wiggle room! We need some convenience options. We need some shortcuts.

Because not only is “perfect” this totally intangible and vague goal with no actual definition, but IT’S AN ILLUSION.

And so the hashtag #TeamHeinz was born ;) Not because eating Heinz ketchup is healthier than making your own at home (or course it’s not!), BUT. Buuuuut, the point is not which is ideal, but instead to me, it’s about being smarter, and addressing these two things:

I don’t know what that answer is. But I do know that you have to pick and choose your battles. I do know that you can’t do everything to perfection. I do know that some things are worth going the extra effort and some things are not.

The practice is knowing where to spend your finite time and energy, when to spend your limited willpower and yes, even when to just have bottled ketchup.

Because eating perfectly and eating fresh whole foods chopped, prepped and cooked daily in your kitchen—as much as we want to be able to do it all the time dammit!—is simply not a reality.

And what I’ve seen with clients over the years is that expecting perfection and kicking and screaming and trying to be Superwoman or Supermom or SuperCleanEater all the time only leaves us feeling discouraged, not good enough and like a failure when we inevitably can’t. In fact, I don’t know anyone who can. Even those fitness models you follow, even those competitors you see in the magazine, even your personal trainer, even that fitness expert you look up to.

Expecting perfection with your eating only leads to feelings of inadequacy and, “WHY CAN’T I JUST DO THIS!? Ugh, I suck!” and I don’t know about you but when I feel like an inadequate failure, I’m definitely not encouraged to stay the course. In fact, nothing has me diving headfirst into a huge bag of Reese’s Pieces faster than feeling like I can’t do it and I’ll never be able to.

So why don’t we, instead of expecting to be able to make gourmet meals at home all the time, just throw ourselves a bone? Understand that being 80-90% healthy all the time is infinitely better than trying to be 100% tight, only to boomerang back into weeks in 20-30% territory.

The key is allowing for the wiggle room to use processed foods every once in a while. To use convenience options every once in a while. To use non-natural sweeteners (yes, even those!) every once in a while! Or gasp, a Diet Coke every once in a while. Not because they are healthier than the real thing—and I’m not even advocating them—but what I am advocating is that sometimes you have to give yourself permission to not be perfect.

One thing I always say is that you have to pick and choose your nutrition battles. So, realize which ones are worth fighting. Be discerning. Be consistent with THE BIG ROCKS. Be consistent doing the handful of things that move the dial and that really matter. Because not all nutrition choices are created equal when it comes to outcomes.

And so, you know what? I think I’m #TeamHeinz. Not because I love Big Food or am advocating for processed food necessarily. But I am advocating for the wiggle room. I’m advocating for permission to not be perfect. I’m advocating for the idea of flexibility and self-compassion and doing what works for you and what makes you happiest.

YOU GUYS. I want you to have the opportunity to get Shira’s awesome resources for convenience eating, fat loss on the go, and much more in her brand new Healthy Mom Guidebook, AVAILABLE TODAY ONLY.

The blueprint is chock-full of  easy15-minute recipes, quickie at-home workouts, simple food prep tools, a dining out guide on what to eat anywhere from gas stations to Mexican restaurants and fast food and most importantly, accessible tools for those who want to make the biggest strides in their results with the least amount of effort and time.

The Healthy Mom Guidebook is USABLE, which I love. A no-brainer resource for women who have zero time, don’t want to have to be perfect at everything and are willing to eat bottled ketchup every once in a while ;)